


The Other Woman

by cakeby_thepound



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cheating, F/M, Light Angst, Smut, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-23
Updated: 2015-08-23
Packaged: 2018-04-16 20:33:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4639239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cakeby_thepound/pseuds/cakeby_thepound
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What is Rick to do when he falls for someone that isn't his wife? </p>
<p>(Richonne. Semi-AU.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nine Crimes

_Leave me out with the waste_  
_This is not what I do_  
_It's the wrong kind of place to be thinking of you_  
_It's the wrong time for somebody new_  
_It's a small crime  
_ _And I've got no excuse_

The rain was unrelenting, thick heavy drops falling over the windows, pounding loudly over the roof of the car. The windows had fogged considerably, and it was almost hard for them to breathe in its stuffy wake.

Michonne's chocolate legs were thrown over each of Rick's shoulders as his tongue pervaded every part of her pulsing, wet center. The bottom half of her body was wriggling against his strong hands, trying to hold out while his lips did whatever they wanted to do to her.

"Fuck, Rick," she moaned out loud, rocking her pussy against his licks. Her head was pressed against the door handle of the back seat, but she ignored the pain for the delicious pleasure. "I'm gonna come on your face," she warned him jokingly in her fit of fervor.

"Do it," he mumbled into her, feeling encouraged by the excitement in her voice.

She could feel him smiling as he sucked at her clit, he was enjoying this way too much. "You're such an ass," she breathed. She grabbed a handful of his short curls before she began to shudder in satisfaction when her orgasm took over her body. His hands gently squeezed her supple ass as he licked her clean, while she continued to try and writhe out of his clutches.

"You okay?" he asked with a sly grin once he was done.

She knew that he knew she was anything but okay, but she gave him a nod and looked at him as if she were ready to devour him herself. She sat up and waited for him to do the same, meeting her gaze. He was so beautiful, she thought, even when they were doing… this. He had eyes like the ocean and lips like warm cherry pie. Her favorite part of this was that those eyes and those lips were hers for just a little while.

She instantly moved in to kiss him, taking pleasure in the way he tasted after his near-assault on her nether regions. She moved her luscious lips down his stubbly jawline and to his strong neck, making a meal out of his smooth and salty skin. "You got a condom?" she managed to ask between nibbles.

He silently answered her request by pulling the package out of his pocket while she hastily unbuttoned his jeans. She then pulled off her tank top and the two of them anxiously explored one another's bodies with their mouths and hands. The air was sticky and uncomfortable, but neither of them could bring themselves to care, all they wanted in the moment was each other.

Once he pulled the rubber on, she got into position in his lap, and slowly eased down on top of his dick. She moaned softly, letting her back fall against his chest as she rocked against him in a steady rhythm. Her hair fell into his face, and he held onto her hips, filling her completely each time she circled her pussy around his length.

His breath against her back was warm and wet, causing her to move faster with every exhale. She erotically bounced on top of him, sqeezing his swollen cock every time she took him in, her soft whimpers reaching a crescendo as she reeled with pleasure. His hand went up her torso and underneath her bra to fondle her supple breast, gently kneading the hardening nipple as she continued to move against him.

"Michonne," he whispered quietly, unsure of where he was going after that. Her gyrating hips had him speechless, really, and his mind was blank aside from her name on his lips. He could feel her ass jiggling against his thighs and his mind going numb. She was too good at this.

Soon, she stopped moving altogether and rearranged herself so that she was facing him. She slid onto him once again, the two of them locking eyes as she continued to roll her body against him. His lips dove for her chest, hungrily sucking her tits out of her bra while his fingers softly roamed over her clit. She began to move faster, to the stroke of his fingers, and her insides felt like they were on fire.

She clung to his shirt with one hand, held the backseat headrest for leverage, and began to grind against him so seductively, he couldn't stand it anymore. He had to clutch her hips, encouraging her as she rode him furiously, panting and moaning while she squeezed her walls around him, her breasts bouncing with every move. The rain against the window, the sound of their bodies crashing together, and her breath in his ear, he was done for. He came in one giant wave of pleasure, cursing as his orgasm washed over him, and when she shuddered against him, he was glad to know she had come again too.

"Jesus," he sighed, happily falling back into the seat behind him.

She was breathing heavily, but pulled herself off of him and settled into the spot beside him so that she could catch her breath. "It's hot," she noted tiredly, attempting to wipe the dampness from her face.

He looked over to her and smiled, but hated that things between them were always over so quickly once they were done. No time to cuddle, no time for pillow talk. They would find their clothes and go their separate ways for the night.

"Should we wait 'til it stops raining?" he asked hopefully. He wasn't ready to go home. Not yet.

As she finished pulling her pants back on, she offered him her warmest smile and gave him a soft pat on the face. "I think we've done enough damage for today." Before he knew it, she was climbing into the passenger seat, obviously waiting for him to take his spot on the drivers' side.

In silence, they drove the two blocks to her house, where she could see the lights were on, which meant her roommates were home. She gave Rick a look, acknowledging that he'd made the right call about them staying in the car to do their deed. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow," she smirked at him, almost a bit sad that she would have to spend the night without him. She should've been used to it by now, but she wasn't.

"You will," he promised, returning her gaze with a wistful smile. He watching her every move as she exited and made a beeline for her front door. She moved like a cat, quick and balletic. She really was something.

He waited a few minutes, making sure she was safely inside before he began his reconnaissance, ensuring the car was free and clear of any of their activities. It was, after all, on loan from the leader there at the Alexandria Safe Zone. And he knew he and Michonne probably shouldn't use their professional car for pleasure, but… shit happens. Sometimes, more often than it should.

_Leave me out with the waste_  
_This is not what I do  
_ _It's the wrong kind of place to be cheating on you_

The rain had finally begun to let up once he started to make his way across the street to his own home. He could only shake his head as he pulled Carl's bike up their walkway, soon followed by a collection of wet chalk Judith had obviously been playing with. He left both items at the front door, along with his soaked boots, and entered his warm home. _  
_

"It's me," he called out to anyone who would listen. He immediately removed his gun, along with its holster, and left it on the table near the door.

It wasn't long before Carl appeared at the top of the steps, glad to see his father was back. "Hey, Dad."

"Hey," he looked up to greet his teenager. "You left your bike in the middle of the yard, you know."

"Mom said not to go out and get it since it was raining so hard," he shrugged, trampling down the steps. "Is dinner ready yet?"

Rick frowned at the information, but followed his son to the kitchen, where his wife was sitting at the table, feeding their daughter. He motioned to give Judith a quick kiss before exploring the contents of the stove along with Carl.

"Meatloaf again?" Carl made a face that pretty much echoed Rick's sentiments.

"You don't like it, don't eat it," Lori replied tersely as she wiped Judith's mouth. She looked at Rick and could tell he didn't want her dinner either, but it wasn't like they had a lot of options. It was her job to ration the food for her family, and meatloaf was the easiest way to keep them fed for more than one night. "Sorry," she eventually added offhandedly.

With a small sigh, Rick made a plate for Carl, taking a few bites for himself just to ward off the hunger pangs, and then retreated upstairs to take a shower. He was looking forward to being alone with his thoughts, even if they were all of Michonne.

From his upstairs window, he had a perfect view of her house, which was a dangerous thing, he realized. He could stand there for hours, just waiting for a glimpse of her, if he really wanted to. He wondered if she was thinking of him in that moment, or if she left their relationship, if you could call it that, wherever she left him. He always meant to ask her, but he was scared the answer would disappoint him, so he would save it. Perhaps, for another rainy day. For the time being, he would have to believe that she was just as lonely for him as he was for her.

_It's the wrong time, she's pulling me through  
_ _It's a small crime  
_ _And I've got no excuse_  
Is that alright with you?

* * *

_Lyrics: "9 Crimes" - Damien Rice (9)_


	2. Leaving

Rick was shaken from his dreams by the sound of his alarm clock going off. 6:30AM always seemed to come so quickly, he thought to himself with a long yawn. He took note of the gloomy morning that had continued from the previous night and hesitantly pulled himself out of bed. He quietly padded down the hallway to Carl's room to wake him up as well.

"Hey," he shook his son softly.

Carl was wrapped up in a mountain of blankets, but slowly came to as he realized he was being bothered. "No," he groaned tiredly, revealing himself from his covers.

"Come on, you know the drill," Rick whispered, pulling down his comforters. "It's still raining, so you'd better get up if you want a ride."

"Five more minutes," he pleaded.

"Carl."

"Fine, I'm up, I'm up." He tore himself from slumber and looked at his dad with sleepy blue eyes. "I think you're working too hard, Dad."

Rick smirked at the assertion, unsure of where it was coming from. "What makes you say that?"

"I mean, you got home at like eight last night, and now you're back at it just a few hours later. You look like you need a break."

Rick sighed heavily, uncomfortable with where the conversation was threatening to take him. Indeed, he did work hard to keep things safe at the Alexandria Safe Zone, but as last night had proven, he also played hard. But he obviously couldn't tell his son that, so he simply shook his head. "I'm fine," he assured Carl, running a hand over his endless messy hair. "Just didn't sleep well. That's all."

"Probably because you didn't eat," Carl noted, catching his father's eye.

He gave his son a small smile, appreciative that he worried about him. "Maybe so."

He turned to leave, but was halted by the kid's words. "Dad?"

"Yeah?" he turned to face him once more.

"We're safe now, right?"

"We're fairly safe," he rationalized for himself and his worried child. "Safer than we've ever been, I'd say."

Carl nodded. "Then can't we just move into our own house?" he whispered carefully. "She doesn't need you anymore."

"Carl..."

"I was thinking about it last night while I was eating dinner. What's the point of all this if none of us are gonna be happy?"

"I thought you liked it here," Rick frowned.

"I do. And I'm glad we found it," he answered reassuringly. "But I don't understand why we're doing this. Why we've gotta pretend to be some happy family when we haven't been that for a long, long time."

He understood exactly what Carl was saying, but wasn't sure he had the time or even the wherewithal to process it in that moment. His son was absolutely right - he and Lori hadn't been happy for nearly two years. Not since he came back from the dead and found out she had taken up with Shane.

Rick did his best to understand it. The world ended and she thought he was dead. No telling what you'd do in a situation like that. But there was something in the way she continually abandoned him in his hour of need, it was impossible to stay in love with her. To even like her, really, after the gut punch of finding out she was pregnant by his best friend.

He tried to be okay with it, God knows, but Lori didn't make it easy. She never made anything easy. He had to kill his best friend and she went cold. All that supportive bullshit she'd been spouting came to cease; she began to look at him differently, like maybe she married a murderer. She stopped trusting him. And that was it. The end of their marriage, for all intents and purposes. Rick had to actively stop himself from hating her. It was difficult, and didn't happen until after Judith was born, but he figured out a way to coexist with her. But that was all it was. The two of them shared walls, not a life. And so maybe Carl was right, that that wasn't really a life worth living.

"You go on and take a shower," he eventually told his son. He didn't have an answer for the question posed, so he was going to ignore it for now. "I'll make us some breakfast."

He quickly left Carl's room, pondering their current state of affairs, and headed into Lori's room, where Judith had taken up residence. Quietly, he pulled his baby girl from her crib, careful not to wake his wife, and the two of them moved downstairs to begin their day.

* * *

Within the hour, Rick, Carl, and Judith were sitting at their kitchen table, enjoying a breakfast of pancakes and canned peaches when there was a soft knock at the front door.

Carl shot up to answer it, pleasantly surprised to see Michonne standing on their porch. "Hey," he greeted her with a wide smile after swinging the door open.

"Hey yourself," she grinned at the young man, noting that he began to look more and more like his father every day. "What are you so happy about this early in the morning?"

"First of all you're here," he offered, leading her into their quiet home. "Second of all, Dad made pancakes."

"Ah, I see," she confirmed for herself as she entered the Grimes' kitchen to see Rick and Judith at the table laughing at each other. "Good morning, you two."

"Mornin'," Rick returned with a smile just as big as Carl's. "You here for breakfast?"

"Actually, I was here for you, officer." She realized how flirtatious that sounded out loud and appended her statement. "To pick you up for work."

"A little early, aren't you?"

"We told Douglas we would meet him at eight for a briefing..."

"Oh shit, I forgot all about that."

She had taken note of his pajamas and figured as much. "I wonder what you'd do without me," she joked with a smile.

He shook his head as he stood from the table. "I don't wanna know."

"I got this," she nodded, encouraging him to go ahead and get ready. She slid his plate across the table towards her and took a seat between Rick's two kids. "It's still raining out there. You gonna need a ride to school?" she asked Carl as she popped a piece of pancake into her mouth. She tore a small piece for Judith and handed it to her as she waited for his answer.

"Dad said he would take me," he nodded, stuffing his own face with peaches. "That was before this meeting, of course."

She glanced at her watch and nodded as well. "I'll take you if time gets too tight."

"Thanks."

"How's it going with that teacher, by the way?"

"Jenn?" he looked up from his breakfast. "Better, I guess," he shrugged casually. "I mean, I still don't like her, but she finally realized that I'm not a baby and I know how to freakin' multiply."

Michonne couldn't help but chuckle at his frustration. "They need to get you a college professor, huh?"

"That would actually be pretty cool," he admitted. "There's a couple of kids my age that would probably like that too."

"There are," she instinctively corrected him as she handed over another piece of pancake for Judith to slobber all over.

"What?"

"There  _are_  a couple of kids your age. Not, 'There is.'"

He gave Michonne an unamused look. "Really?"

"You can't complain about school and then speak improperly!"

He took a long sip from his orange juice and then wiped his mouth with his sleeve. "Let's not ruin this," he jokingly shook his head.

"Oh, hush," she grinned, playfully shoving him lightly. She helped Judith take a few sips of water before finishing what was left of Rick's plate. She figured he would have taken a shower the night before, so he would be back soon, and quickly moved to get their dishes to the sink. "Did your dad tell you he was thinking about letting you help with gun training classes?" she inquired casually.

Carl's eyes lit up at the news, and he wondered if she was serious. "Really?"

She nodded as she began to scrub the first and only pan. "He said he wants to get started now so that when summer comes, everybody'll be fairly adept at shooting."

"Dude."

"I probably should've let him tell you that, but... ah well."

"Rick didn't tell him because I was opposed to the idea." Lori suddenly entered the kitchen, her arms folded over her chest as if she were cold, bringing Michonne and Carl's conversation to a screeching halt. "Good morning," she added.

Michonne turned to the woman she knew as Rick's wife and offered a tense smile. "Good morning."

"You really don't have to do that. I got it," she replied without looking up, referring to their dishes. She was clinking glasses and silverware as if she were angry about something.

Carl, however, was still concerned with the fact that his mother didn't want him helping on weapons training. "Mom, why can't I help? I obviously know what I'm doing."

"I know that, baby. I just think you should focus on getting some semblance of a childhood back, not delve further into all this violence and guns." She offered him a sympathetic smile. "Not while we're safe."

Michonne had to stop herself from rolling her eyes, as that was the stupidest thing she'd ever heard. If anything, all of them needed to stay sharp, not get comfortable. But Carl was Lori's son, and she had no right to interfere. Still, she didn't want to stand there any longer. "Carl, if you wanna grab your bag, I'll run you to school."

As he hastily disappeared with a nod, Lori turned to the woman behind her. "He can't walk anymore?"

"Just trying to be nice," Michonne returned flatly. She was sure to move away from the sink and to the opposite side of the kitchen to wait for Carl. She was thankful when Rick appeared as well.

"I'm sorry about that," he told her quietly.

He softly placed a hand on each of her shoulders as he passed behind her, causing a shiver throughout her body. Something about him touching her in the same room as his wife made her uneasy. "No problem," she answered him in her own nervous whisper. She then watched in amusement as he went to Judith and lifted her high into the air before giving her a kiss goodbye. The laugh that baby gave him was quite possibly the cutest thing she had ever seen.

"Goodbye, love," he told her, sitting her back in her high chair.

Michonne didn't miss the look that Lori sent his way, as if she wondered whether he was talking to her for a moment. But then Carl came trampling down the steps and she didn't give any more thought to it. "You all ready?" she asked him.

"Yup."

"You take a jacket," Lori called out to her son as the three of them headed towards the exit.

No one replied to her command, but Rick did make sure to ask Michonne if she got a chance to have breakfast. "You get somethin' to eat?"

She nodded as she watched him pull on his gun holster. "I did. Judith and I shared the rest of your plate."

"Dad makes the best pancakes," Carl declared as he opened their front door once again. "Of course that's all he can make."

"Better than me," Michonne chuckled. "I could burn a pot of coffee."

"Hell, I'm pretty sure you have," Rick joked with a happy smile. "Douglas was in shock at how bad it was."

"Now you know you didn't have to bring that up," she grinned back. "It was a new coffee machine, Rick."

"Uh huh." Once Rick's gun was in place and he grabbed his own jacket, they were ready to go. "Say goodbye to your sister," he reminded Carl.

The teen swiftly ran into the kitchen to kiss his baby sister goodbye and Michonne looked at Rick curiously. She'd spent a lot of time in the company of the Grimes family and had obviously noticed that Rick rarely, if ever, said anything to Lori. But as she stood there now, in the woman's house, she realized how uncomfortable it was to watch. "You should say goodbye to your wife," she whispered.

He didn't know why she was pretending care about Lori now, when less than twelve hours ago, the two of them were down the block, fucking in their work car. He simply shook his head and ran his thumb across Michonne's bottom lip. "She doesn't deserve it."

She closed her eyes at his touch but found a way to shake it away before Carl could catch them. Just then, he shuffled back into the foyer with his backpack in place and the three of them were off. Before the door slammed shut, Michonne made sure to call back, "Bye, Lori."

Lori had certainly taken notice that her own husband and son pretty much refused to speak to her nowadays, but as she moved to the kitchen window to see her family happily disappear into their day with some other woman, she knew she would have to take what she could get. "Bye, Michonne..."


	3. Damaged Goods

_A year earlier…_

Rick and Carl were standing in the courtyard of the prison, on walker watch, when a strange figure began to approach their fences. It was a woman, and she at least appeared to be alive as she stood there holding a shopping basket full of baby formula, but she was positioned amongst the walkers as if she were one of them. Rick could only stare, trying to figure out what was going on. Was he seeing things?

She didn't say anything either – she couldn't – but just stared with these big, beautiful brown eyes. She looked scared. She looked lost. And when she held her hand over an apparent, gaping wound on her leg, Rick knew she was injured, as well. It took her passing out before he sprang into action and helped her inside, but there was something in the way she spoke to him without saying a word at all, he knew this wouldn't be just some passing stranger.

She was able to inform him that Maggie and Glenn were taken by some character named The Governor, and even helped to save them. There were some bumps along the way – they'd lost their new friend Oscar to a bullet, and Daryl to his brother – but he had gained Michonne, which he'd begun to think was just as equal an asset.

"Thank you," Rick told her seriously as they headed back into the prison with Glenn and Maggie just ahead of them. He knew whatever damage had been done to the two of them was likely irreparable, but they were alive, at least. And without Michonne, they wouldn't have been able to say that much.

"You're welcome," was all she said in return as she strutted past him and towards the doors to the prison.

Before she could make it inside, before they went their separate ways, he called after her softly. "Hey."

She stopped in her tracks and turned around to look at the man that had allowed her into his home without too many questions asked. It was unsettling to her, how much she trusted him, which was why she wanted to get away from him, but he refused to make it easy. "Yes?"

"You gouged that man's eye out?" He was referring to this Governor character, who'd obviously just suffered an eye injury when they saw him corral Daryl and Merle in their weird little Woodbury arena.

She narrowed her eyes, trying to figure out whether Rick was attempting to judge her for it. He wasn't happy that she'd run off without telling him, and she understood that. But she wasn't sure whether he understood exactly why she'd done it. "He's a dangerous man," she answered curtly.

"I know," Rick nodded. "And you took his eye, so what does that make you?" He pulled the door open and motioned for her to go inside ahead of him.

She couldn't help but smirk at his assertion. He was right. What did that make her? But he was allowing her back into the cellblock, along with his kids and his wife, so he obviously trusted her on some level, too. This time, it was her turn to catch him before he could walk off. "If you need me for anything else… just let me know."

He nodded with his piercing blue eyes fixated on her. "I'm probably gonna need you for a run later on this week. But I'll let you know."

With a nod of understanding, the two of them parted ways, Michonne headed to find a new cell to call home, while Rick went to check on his kids and Lori. He found them in Lori's cell, mother and daughter quietly resting, while his son was kneeled at the edge of the bed, reading about Tom Sawyer for what had to be the tenth time.

"Dad!" Carl hopped up from his mother's side when he saw that his father had returned from his mission. "Did you find them?"

"We got 'em," he answered with a confident nod. But as his eyes flitted down to the floor, it was clear that something else was wrong.

"What is it?" Lori wondered out loud, seeing the anguish on her husband's face. "Somebody else die?"

He took a deep breath and glanced at her briefly, but let his eyes drop back to his son. "We lost Oscar," he admitted softly. "And we found Merle at this place. Daryl decided to go off with him."

"What?" she frowned. "Are you serious?"

"I'm very serious," he sighed again, sitting at the opposite end of her bed. "And this guy that took Glenn and Maggie is no joke, honestly. So I don't know what's about to happen."

"Rick…"

Carl looked up to his father in every sense of the word. "We'll be okay, Dad."

Lori was visibly alarmed, but she didn't want to have this conversation in front of their son. Even if her hope was running on empty, she didn't want to cause the same in Carl. "Sweetie, can you give me and your dad a minute?"

He frowned at his mother, knowing that she was about to say something that further stressed out his dad, but there wasn't much he could do in the moment. He had to listen to his mother. He nodded and grabbed his hat from the desk in her room as he walked out.

Once he was gone, Lori did her best to sit up with their newborn in her arms, and gazed at her husband curiously. "What… happened out there?"

"We started a war," he declared hoarsely. He hated to admit it, but the fact was, they would have to answer for the things they'd done to save their people. "This guy had Maggie and Glenn in some kind of dungeon. Damn near beat Glenn to a pulp with him tied to a chair and then threw a walker in the room. They had Daryl and Merle in some kind of gladiator arena and would've had them fight to the death if we hadn't shown up. It was insane."

Lori looked sick. "Who the hell are these people?"

"I dunno," Rick shook his head contemplatively. "We thought Tomas and Andrew were bad, but they were nothin' compared to what I saw last night."

"And you think you can handle this on your own? Without Daryl?"

"I think I don't have a choice," he gave her a frustrated frown and stood from his seat. "Daryl ain't the only factor here."

"That's not what I'm saying, Rick-."

He cut her off before she could finish her thought. He was angry now. "What the hell are you sayin' then?"

"I just… want to make sure that you've thought about this." She eyed him carefully, knowing that he was on the verge of blowing his top. "From all sides, I mean."

"I can't believe I get you this far…" he started to mumble, but then thought better of it. "I'll handle it," he eventually finished, not wanting to have any further discussion with her. He just couldn't understand why she constantly made this harder than it already was. "If you need anything for the baby, let Hershel know and I'll handle that, too."

She made sure to catch him before he could walk off. "Her name is Judith," she informed him softly. "Carl picked it out."

He turned to her, but his eyes focused in on the newborn instead. He wished he felt more connected to her. He wished he didn't have to fake this feeling of love. Or force it, rather. In his mind, he knew he had nothing against this child. She couldn't help the circumstances she was born into. But his feelings for her mother were really clouding his emotions. He couldn't even bear to hold her yet. He didn't like the man he was becoming, but how was he supposed to help it?

"Judith," he nodded. "All right."

And then he was gone.

* * *

Two days later, Michonne and Rick had made their way to Rick's old hometown of King County, GA. The group was in desperate need of ammo if they had any chance against this Woodbury crew, so the two of them were more than thankful to have been successful in their mission. Successful enough, anyway, considering the events of the afternoon. Rick had come across his old friend, Morgan, who'd obviously not been doing too well. The man was disheveled, erratic, even dangerous. He was damaged. And after losing his wife and son, Rick couldn't exactly blame him. But he wished he could've helped him more. He wished he could've saved him.

"That's not your fault," Michonne told Rick as they returned to their car, seemingly reading his mind out of nowhere. Rick only looked at her, sadly, but inquisitively, so she went on. "What happened to him, that's not your fault."

"I didn't say it was," he croaked out quietly. He looked up just as a few raindrops began to fall, catching his face. "I just know… he doesn't deserve this fate."

She glanced back at him tentatively. "And we do?"

"I'm just guessin', but I imagine that sword comes with a few sins attached. Lord knows this gun does."

The two of them stood at the back of their SUV, eyeing one another as they slowly loaded the trunk with their war supplies. The rain began to fall harder, but Michonne didn't move, so he didn't either. He was waiting for her to answer.

"Killing bad people doesn't make us bad people," she finally told him seriously.

He nodded and began to mumble as he looked around his abandoned hometown. "Yeah, that's what we keep telling ourselves…"

"You wanna feel guilty, that's fine with me." She slammed the trunk and gave him one last glance before heading for the passenger side of the car.

"Hey," he stopped her. She turned only her head, waiting for him to speak. "You wanna drive?"

She frowned at him as though he'd suggestively asked if she wanted a ride. "No, you can drive."

"All right," he shrugged, taking towards the left side of the vehicle without any further protest. Once they were safely inside, he surveyed the landscape ahead – dark clouds and a long, winding road, as evening was beginning its approach. "This is gonna be a long ride," he commented casually.

"This is why you should've eaten some of his food," she deadpanned as she settled into her seat.

Het let out a quiet chuckle at her stoic attempt at a joke. "For the record," he started, along with the rev of the engine, "I don't  _want_  to feel guilty. I just wish I thought I was doing something right."

"What makes you think you aren't?"

"I just look at us, and I see how broken we are, and I… I dunno," he shook his head, but it was clear that the weight was on his shoulders. "You haven't been here for most of it, but… this group is broken."

"I don't know you," she admitted softly. "I get that. But I see you, Rick."

He took off for their destination before he asked her what she meant. "What do you see?"

"I see a good man."

He didn't know why her statement made him feel better, but it did. The weight had lifted a bit with just five little words. How did she see it when he couldn't? "I appreciate that," he smirked.

"You scare me sometimes, but… that's more my fault than yours."

"I scare you?" he asked incredulously, looking over to her as she offered a small smile. If he'd blinked, he would've missed it, but it was the first time he'd seen her even attempt one, and the sight made him literally swerve in the road. Her stare was enough to do him in, but that smile would be the death of him, for sure. "What could I possibly have done to scare you?"

"It's not you, it's me," she promised, almost jokingly. "It was just… alarming to meet you and immediately trust you the way that I did. That's not how I operate."

He had to smile back at what he knew was another compliment, coming from someone like her. "But you immediately know when you don't trust someone?"

"That's true," she allowed. "But it's much easier to lose than it is to earn, which is why I don't know why I've given it to you so easily."

"Yeah, I guess that'd scare me, too."

She gazed out of the window as the two of them allowed silence to envelop the car. The rain was enough to keep them company as they slowly navigated through the Georgia forest, back to the prison. Back to their home.

Michonne had to admit, she was confused when she realized that it would be just the two of them on this little road trip. She wondered if it would turn out to be some weird recruitment tactic, where he dropped her off in the middle of nowhere and she would have to find her way back to the prison if she wanted to be a part of the group. And then she thought that he was going to bring her back to Woodbury in exchange for some shitty thing or another. These were the things she expected of people nowadays, but the fact was, she still felt completely comfortable getting into that car with him at the beginning of the day. This guy was breaking all her rules.

"Your baby is beautiful," she declared, finally sick of her own thoughts as she turned back towards her companion.

His grip visibly tightened on the wheel before he replied. "Thank you."

"I wasn't sure I would see a baby again." She also wasn't sure she could handle seeing a baby again. "It's nice."

Rick nodded. "Her name is Judith, Carl decided."

She offered a small, closed-mouth grin in reply. "How's your wife doing?"

His face reacted to that question, contorting into a grimace before he could stop himself. He shook his head now and cleared his throat. "She's all right."

She couldn't help but notice the shift in his demeanor. He had never been especially warm, but his rigidity was almost palpable. "Are  _you_  all right?"

"Yeah." The raindrops seemed to be falling faster, matching the thoughts racing through his mind. "I umm… I dunno."

"You're not all right?"

He shook his head, trying to shake away this coldness that had suddenly washed over him. He hated this feeling. "She's not my wife," he whispered softly.

Underneath the falling rain, she could barely hear him. "What was that?"

"It's complicated," he said this time, unable to open up such an ugly can of worms at the moment. "I won't say we hate each other, but… love is hard right now."

"When is love not hard?" she scoffed.

He glanced at her briefly, finding himself wondering what her story was before she found them. Wondering if she would share it with him.

"I would give anything to have Mike back," she revealed wistfully, inhaling the stale air between them once the words were out there.

"That was your husband?" he guessed.

"He was never my husband." She sighed shakily this time. "But I would've liked that..."

He nodded, feeling sorrow for them both.

"He wasn't perfect by any means, but it gets lonely at the end of the world," she proclaimed with a thoughtful frown as she looked over to Rick. "Most of us don't have any family left. So maybe… don't take this thing for granted with you and your wife."

He could only think how much easier said than done that was. "Did Mike abandon you when you needed him most?"

She thought about this for only a moment before she found herself cringing as they passed by two walkers wandering aimlessly through an open field. "Yeah, he pretty much did."

"And you still want him back? Still wish he was here with you?"

"Every day."

Now he really felt sad for her. "You deserve better then." But he also understood her. And he silently began to hope that they could find their way back together. "We both do."


	4. You Oughta Know

"Carl!"

At the sound of his father's voice, the teenager came trampling down the steps of their home, all dressed and ready to go. He reached the foyer just in time to see Judith stumbling in to meet him, with Rick following not far behind. "We all ready?" he asked his dad.

"Just about," Rick nodded. "I'm gonna get your sister's jacket on. You grab the potatoes from the kitchen counter."

Carl nodded and did as told, finding a large casserole dish full of mashed potatoes next to a smaller dish covered in foil. "Which one, Dad?" he yelled back in confusion.

"The big one!" Rick called back.

He returned with the correct pan, seeing his sister in his dad's arms, all bundled up. He smiled at her before looking to Rick. "What's the other one for?"

"It's for us," Rick smiled himself as he opened the door for the three of them. "Michonne made it."

Carl's eyes widened in surprise, remembering that she'd told him she couldn't cook to save her life. "Michonne? Really?"

"She found a recipe for sweet potato pie that she wanted to try out."

"So she's testing it out on us," Carl made a face. "Great."

Rick chuckled, having said the same thing when she came by to bring him the dessert. Part of him looked forward to trying it, just because she made the effort, but most of him was scared. "I'll go first," he promised.

The trio continued down their walkway and onto the sidewalk, finding the streets dotted with their fellow neighbors, headed for the front of the ASZ complex. Everyone was toting some dish or another, as per the rules that each home had to participate and bring a dish to Thanksgiving dinner.

They arrived to the neighborhood's clubhouse to find the place decorated with a main table, full of food, surrounded by several smaller tables for residents to divide up amongst themselves. Carl found Michonne and Daryl sitting near the back door, and he immediately pulled his dad towards them.

"Well well, look what the cat dragged in," Daryl greeted the Grimes family with a smirk. "Y'all are late."

"I think y'all are early," Rick returned, taking a seat next to his friend. "How long you been waitin'?"

"Two minutes," Michonne chuckled in reply. "Glenn went to get drinks."

"Drinks as in alcohol?" Rick's eyebrows raised hopefully.

"As in homemade fruit punch," Daryl rolled his eyes. "But we still got some Jack back at the house, right, 'Chonne?"

"Me and Sasha finished that a long time ago," she scoffed. "You're thinking of vodka."

"I would never think of vodka," he mumbled, biting his bottom lip. He then gave Lil' Asskicker a glance and a wink before looking back at Rick. "What'd y'all bring?"

"Just some mashed potatoes," he shrugged, beginning to pull off Judith's jacket. "Lori got first dibs on the list and that's what she chose."

"Michonne chose pie, like any one of us know how to make a pie."

"Now wait a minute," she piped up. "I came through on that shit." Her eyes darted to Carl before she appended, "Excuse my French."

"They look good, at least," Rick offered diplomatically.

"They taste good too!"

"Only 'cause Carol helped," Sasha inserted in a chipper tone as she approached the table and took a seat. "Hey, y'all."

"Happy Thanksgiving," Rick returned politely.

It wasn't long before Glenn, Maggie, Beth, and Tyreese followed, taking a nearby table with some of the Alexandria folks. The whole gang was there, save for Lori and Carol.

They had begun on their meals, and Michonne had to try hard to keep her eyes off of Rick. Watching him interact with Judith could keep her endlessly entertained, but she typically only witnessed it in the privacy of the Grimes' home. Now, if she stared too long, people would most certainly notice.

"Your sister likes to eat almost as much as I do," Michonne commented jokingly to Carl. "I'm gonna have to take her running with me soon."

Carl smiled brightly at his friend's joke. "She definitely weighs a lot more than she used to."

"This is how it starts," she shook her head playfully.

"Y'all better leave my baby alone," Rick eyed them from across the table. Judith began to stuff a shred of chicken into his mouth and he offered her a small piece of a biscuit. "She has a perfectly normal appetite."

"Yeah, for an adult," Carl teased.

"Oh, I know you're not talkin' with your six meals a day," he shot back.

"Oh, so it runs in the family," Michonne realized in amusement. Food had always been so scarce, she never took notice of how much others did or didn't eat. Only Judith, since she was so new to the act of eating solid food. "No wonder Glenn's always bringing you extra stuff."

"Glenn brings us extra stuff too," Daryl reminded her.

"Glenn brings you and Carol extra stuff," Sasha emphasized. "He's got some kinda favoritism towards the original Atlanta folks."

"Hey!" Glenn called from the table beside them. "That is not true!"

Rick laughed as he looked at Sasha. "It's a little true," he whispered.

"Speaking of Atlanta people, where are Carol and your wife?" she wondered out loud as she inspected the crowded room.

Rick didn't know or care where Lori was, and found himself instinctively looking to Michonne when the question of his wife came up. He knew he needed to stop. Michonne wasn't his wife, wasn't even his girlfriend in the light of day, but he certainly wanted her to be. He was glad to be sharing another Thanksgiving in her presence, but he wished it were under better circumstances.

"So we're really not gettin' anything stronger than fruit punch?" was his reply to Sasha's question.

Daryl hopped up from his seat, obviously just as frustrated with this dry party as Rick seemed to be. "Gotta be a bottle of somethin' around here."

"If you find one, you better share," Maggie demanded from the adjacent table.

"Yeah, yeah," he returned just before disappearing.

With him gone, Rick and Michonne now had a clear view of one another, and she immediately locked eyes with him without even meaning to. Judith turned her head, seemingly curious as to what her father was so taken with, and began to reach for Michonne once she got her answer. Rick took that opportunity to slide into Daryl's chair so that they could be closer.

Michonne happily accepted Rick's baby, laughing as she attempted to grab her headband, as she usually did. Judith was like her father in that way, always trying to pull off her clothes. "Now hold on, mama," she grinned, moving her plate out of the way so that the toddler could sit comfortably on the table. She motioned to fix her headband, but Rick was already on the job, sweetly pulling the scarf back into place. Michonne kept her eyes on Judith as his hands worked, smiling at her when he grazed her forehead in the process.

"Sorry about that," he apologized for Judith with a small smirk. "When she's not eating, she tends to get handsy."

"She's a little thief," Carl shook his head, gazing at his sister. "I can't tell you how many times she's tried to steal my hat."

"She obviously knows she's the one running things," Michonne chuckled at him. "I don't know why you're fighting it."

"It's hard to relinquish power," Rick offered as he slid he and Judith's plate to his new seat. He gave her a spoonful of potatoes and then took some for himself before adding, "I would know."

"You ain't relinquished nothin'," Sasha playfully dismissed him as she scraped her plate clean. "Douglas might think he runs this place, but... come on."

Michonne laughed, knowing Sasha's assessment to be accurate. But that was what she liked about Rick. He was a natural in this position. He didn't know how to give it up. "She's right, you know."

"Well if anything, we're sharing it," he shrugged. He started to grab a napkin to wipe Judith's mouth of all the food smeared across it, but Michonne got to it first. He couldn't help but smile at how attentive she always was with his kids. "Thank you," he softly submitted, watching the side of her face.

Sasha had stopped trying to get a read on the two of them a long time ago, thinking herself crazy for the thoughts she had. Whenever she saw them out and about, they were  _always_  smiley and laughing together. Even when Michonne came home from work, she had this air about her that was obviously happy, even if she tried to deny it. And then there were times like this, where Rick and Michonne seemed to be almost blatantly in love with one another. It was crazy. The four of them looked like a family, even. She wondered if they were aware of the vibe they were giving off.

Just then, Douglas Monroe had approached the small group, extending his warm smile to the table's occupants. "Well hello, and Happy Thanksgiving," he greeted them.

Rick and Michonne looked up from entertaining Judith, Michonne with a big grin on her face. "Happy Thanksgiving to you, too."

"How are my favorite sheriff and deputy doing?" he asked them.

"Can't complain," Rick shrugged, looking over to his partner and then his daughter. "So far, my kids are the only criminal element I've seen today."

Douglas laughed as he gave Carl a pat on the back. "And how are you today, Sasha?"

"Doing quite well," she beamed. "We can't thank you enough for this," she added, referring to their extravagant dinner.

"No, no, this was a community effort," he declined the praise. "Don't thank me."

"You organized it though, and I think it was somethin' we all needed," Rick returned sincerely. "We did somethin' similar back at our prison last year, and it really lifted everyone's spirits."

Michonne smiled to herself as she remembered that day. She had been at the prison for a while by then, but it was the first time she'd had a conversation with Carl - the start of their growing friendship. But it was also the first time she'd spoken to Lori at length, and that hadn't been quite so enjoyable.

* * *

_A year earlier…_

Michonne sat quietly at the end of a long table in the prison cafeteria, observing the people she now lived with, all of them jovially consuming their makeshift Thanksgiving. As much as she thought the idea was rather silly, as she looked around the room, she understood why Rick had been so adamant. These people needed a distraction, they needed a reason to be happy. With Andrea's death, and the Governor disappearing into thin air, she was finding it hard to even entertain the prospect of being happy, but that didn't mean everyone else had to feel the same.

She had to admit she felt a bit comforted when Rick finally walked into the room. He was the only one she felt even remotely close to, and typically stayed out of sight when he wasn't around. She smiled to herself when she saw Carl on his heels, as always, with his sheriff's hat perched on his head. It was amusing how much the kid wanted to emulate his father.

She watched them greet a few people before they were served their plates of food. And while she didn't necessarily need the company, or even feel like talking, she was pleasantly surprised when the two of them were headed straight towards her, with Carl leading the way.

"Hey," he greeted her coolly, already settling down into the seat across from her.

"You mind if we join you," Rick asked for the two of them.

"Course not." She watched as he joined his son, entertained by how similar their mannerisms were.

"How come you're sitting here by yourself?" Carl wondered with a perplexed frown.

She felt herself smiling, caught off guard by his bluntness. They hadn't exchanged this many words in the two months she'd been at the prison. "I suppose I was waiting for you," she answered in an attempt to be friendly.

"Well good, because I told my dad that I wanted to get to know you."

"Is that right?" she chuckled this time, looking to Rick for confirmation of this news.

"Like I told you, he's a precocious one," Rick shrugged.

Another bemused grimace covered Carl's entire face. "What does that mean?"

"It means you're too smart for your own good," Michonne answered for him.

His bright blue eyes rested on Michonne while he contemplated whether he agreed. "I'll take that," he nodded.

"He says it like he's got a choice," Rick chuckled, also gazing at the woman across from him. "You had anything to eat yet?

"Not yet. I was waiting to make sure all the little ones and the elders got their plates first."

"Way to make me feel like an asshole," he joked as he began to push his plate towards her. "You should eat."

"I'm fine," she attempted to decline.

"There's plenty of food," Carl assured her. "Dad made sure there would be enough for everyone."

"So go on," Rick continued to offer her his food.

"I can't take yours," she steadfastly refused. "You're always doing something for other people. I can get my own."

"Michonne," his eyebrows raised at her, signifying that he was serious. "I'm not takin' no for an answer."

"Is that so?" she eyed him playfully, wondering what he would do about it. She figured if she beat him to the punch, he simply wouldn't have a choice. She swiftly turned from her seat, and made a beeline for the food table before Rick could even think to stop her.

"You cheated!" he called back to her with an adorable smile taking over his entire face.

"I think she just outsmarted you, Dad," Carl was also smiling, having instantly decided that he liked Michonne. He had been almost scared to talk to her all this time, but his dad was right when he said that she was cool.

Michonne stood at the food table, quite amused with herself as she watched Carol prepare another plate that she would give to Rick since he was so insistent on her taking his.

"I wasn't sure you would show up to this," Carol grinned at her kindly as she handed over her food. "It's nice to see you." It was even nicer to see her laugh for once, but Carol kept that part to herself.

She wasn't sure how to respond, so she offered her a tense smirk back at the woman. "I guess it's nice to be seen." She turned to head back for her table, startled to see Lori standing in front of her, cradling baby Judith. She nearly dropped her plate in surprise. "Jesus, you scared me."

"Can I talk to you for a second?" She attempted to be warm in her request, but had failed miserably.

Michonne frowned and looked back to Rick, but he was engaged with Carl and didn't seem to notice what was happening. "Sure," she shrugged, following her to a less private area.

"Okay," Lori sighed as she began to speak softly. "I know I don't know you. And you don't know me. But I've seen you and Rick, and the way you interact." She shook her head as if disappointed. "This has to stop."

"Excuse me?" she had to stop herself from laughing.

"Rick is my husband," she explained as if Michonne were unable to grasp that fact. "You go on your little secret run and now all of a sudden you're best friends?" Her hazel eyes were full of obvious sadness as she spoke. "Rick is mine, Michonne. Carl is mine. So just keep your distance, all right?"

Knowing exactly how Rick felt about Lori, it was hard for Michonne to take this little rant seriously. In fact, it almost made her feel bad for this woman. She'd seen the way  _they_  interacted, and it wasn't pretty. Did Lori really have no idea how they came off? How cold they were to one another? She obviously hadn't known them long, but she could certainly tell how fractured they were, just by looking. Was Lori just in denial?

Lori gazed at the woman before her, trying to figure out why she hadn't responded. She was just standing there, staring into space. "Did you hear anything I said?"

Michonne's features softened from its frown, feeling some form of sympathy for Rick's wife. But she didn't have much in the way of comfort to offer her. "Lori, listen," she began composedly. "I'm not here to steal your husband. But this, whatever it is, is not going to get you what you're looking for. If you have to threaten someone to hold onto the person you love, chances are, they're already gone," she prophesized.

"You have no idea-."

"You're right," Michonne cut her off. "I don't." She was already backing away from the conversation as she finished her thoughts. "But I know what I bring to the table, so trust me when I say I'm not afraid to eat alone. I sincerely hope you're able to find some way to say that for yourself." Without another word, Michonne left the conversation to rejoin the table with Rick and Carl.

* * *

_Present day…_

Lori and Carol were sitting on the patio outside of the clubhouse, enjoying glasses of wine, as well as one another's company. It was cool out, but actually fairly nice for nearly December, and they were taking advantage of the quiet outside. It tended to get noisy when the entire Safe Zone convened in one room.

"You know… I didn't realize how much I loved wine until I couldn't have it every day," Lori declared wistfully.

"Nothing like a good Pinot after a long day," Carol agreed as she took another sip from her glass. "I'd take this over food pretty much every day."

Lori offered a small chuckle. "It's nice to have food every day, though."

"It's all nice, isn't it? Everything is a luxury now."

"We took a lot for granted," she nodded. "Those normal existences. We've killed people for just the chance to get that back."

Carol frowned at her friend, unsure if she should be including herself in that 'we.' "You've killed people?" she asked.

"You know what I mean," she rolled her eyes. She downed what was left of her drink and poured herself another glass.

"Maybe we should get something to eat before we keep going," Carol suggested tentatively. "They had a whole smorgasbord in there, from what I could tell."

Lori had a perfectly clear view of the happenings inside the clubhouse, and Carol was right – food was everywhere. But she could also see Rick and her kids, sitting with Michonne, and she knew she wouldn't be going inside anytime soon. "I don't need to go in there," she answered stoically.

"You gotta eat something. It's our Thanksgiving."

"I don't want to go in there," she said this time, taking another sip of her Cabernet. "I'm fine."

"Well you just tell me what you want and I'll bring you a plate," Carol offered quietly.

"What I want…" Lori chuckled derisively at her statement. What she wanted couldn't be put on a plate.

"What?"

She looked her friend squarely in the eye to confess. "What I want is for my husband to look at me the way he looks at her."

"Lori… what are you…"

She shook her head sadly as she gazed back into the room. Rick, Michonne, Carl, Judith, sitting together, at a table with Daryl and Sasha. They looked so complete, like the family they were meant to be. And it broke her heart every single time she turned to see them smiling at one another. She felt like that had been them, not so long ago. Or maybe it was long ago. Time was so tricky, she couldn't even tell anymore. "He's in love with her," she proclaimed dryly, raising her glass once more. "Always has been."

"Who? What are you saying?" Carol pleaded, baffled by her sudden irrationality.

"Don't act like you don't see it," she exhaled heavily. "He's probably fucking her, too."

"Lori, stop it."

"Good ol', perfect Rick Grimes. Our savior." She rolled her eyes again as she scoffed at the thought. "How much you wanna bet he's been fucking her since we got here?"

"You're drunk," Carol stood from her chair and motioned to head inside and get her something to eat. The wine had obviously gone to her head. But she stopped at the door when she saw Rick and Michonne smiling brightly at one another, just as he wrapped his arm around her neck. It was all very playful, and she'd seen them act similarly before, but in light of Lori's words, it certainly took on a different context now. Maybe her friend was right. "Lori-."

She waved her off, no longer wanting to discuss the fact that she'd lost her husband. "Go on inside, Carol. I'm fine out here alone."


	5. The Kids Aren't All Right

" _I'm not gonna let you do this to me, Rick. I'm not gonna let you embarrass me in front of everyone we know."_

" _Oh, you mean like you've done to me for the past two years?"_

It was early in the morning, and Rick and Lori were engaged in a very rare shouting match that was loud enough to wake the neighbors. It had most certainly woken the kids, and Carl had Judith downstairs, trying to keep her calm. Even with doors closed, he could hear every word his parents were saying.

" _You can't say you forgive me and then bring it up every chance you get!"_  Lori was screaming.  _"You think it makes you a good guy to just say the words?"_

" _Well then I don't forgive you."_

" _That's not fair."_

" _Life's not fair."_ Carl could hear Rick's boots pounding against the wood of his mom's bedroom. It sounded like his dad was leaving.

" _Rick, I really am sorry for what I did to you. But you seem to think you're somehow better than me because you're sticking around, and you're not."_

" _Oh, I'm very clear that I'm better than you,"_  he retorted angrily.  _"You didn't just abandon me, Lori. You left those kids, when you realized I had given up on you, and now you're trying to make up for it by making dinner and bein' a housewife again. Fuck you."_

" _Oh, you wanna talk about abandoning kids? You wanna talk about who's making up for lost time?"_

" _Don't you dare bring Judith into this."_

" _You brought 'em both into this. You wanna act like a model father now, but you ignored your daughter for three whole months, so… we've got ourselves a bit of a glass houses and stones situation."_

" _No, what we've got is you trying to use me to justify your own shitty mistakes."_

" _Because that's not what you do every single day."_

" _And there you go again."_

" _Rick, when I fell in love with Shane, I thought you were dead."_ She was obviously crying now _. "What you're doing with her is just mean."_

" _What I'm doing with 'her' is none of your concern. We're friends."_

" _If that were true, that would be one thing. But you're letting her take my kids from me!"_

" _No one can do that, Lori."_

" _And yet… she is."_

* * *

_6 months earlier…_

Judith would not stop crying. It was uncomfortably late and Rick was tired. Lori was tired. Even Carl was tired. They couldn't figure out what was wrong. Lori had walked her through the tombs, she tried singing to her, she tried swinging her, but nothing had worked. She was out of moves.

She brought the infant to Rick's cell, out of all other options. "I need you to give this a try," she announced, standing in his doorway. He was lying down, but she knew he couldn't have been asleep, because their daughter had the entire cellblock awake. "She'll do this all night."

He rolled his eyes at the exaggeration, but quickly hopped up to take on the challenge. "All right, come here, baby girl," he sighed, nervously taking Judith from her mother. He had become more at ease being around her, but he lived in constant fear of dropping her, for some reason. He wanted so badly to be good to her that he'd forgotten how to just be a parent. He cradled her in his arms, trying to shush her as they moved away from everyone's cells.

Lori looked on, ready to follow him, but she thought better of it. He wouldn't want her there, and at the end of the day, he would have to bond with her in his own way, on his own terms. She simply went back to her cell, hoping that he could work a miracle.

Rick and Judith made their way into the cafeteria. He figured maybe some warm milk would at least make her sleepy, if not satisfy her a bit. He ended up walking in on Michonne, sitting solitarily, enjoying what looked like a bowl of oatmeal. "Hey," he called out to her over the sound of Judith's wailing.

"Rough night?" she commented with raised eyebrows.

"To say the least," he shook his head. "I don't know whether it's teething or colic, or if she's too hot, too cold…"

"She's six months old. It's not colic," she assured him quietly, leaving her seat to confront the unhappy couple. She tilted her head, attempting to examine the infant, but her eyes kept drifting to her father. "Are you all right?"

"I'm all right," he nodded tiredly. "I just… I wish I knew what was wrong."

"It's nice to see you with her more often," she tentatively attempted to compliment him. She could see his detachment from the child when she first arrived, and had watched that slowly deteriorate over time. It seemed the further he drifted from Lori, the closer he became to Judith. It was all so odd to her, but she did her best not to judge. Nothing made sense anymore.

"It's nice to see you with us more often," he answered. He smiled whenever he saw her around the prison, interacting with the others. He wanted her to feel like she had a home there, and she seemed to want that too.

She liked that he had noticed, but decided not to reply as she examined Judith's gums. "She's definitely got some teeth coming in, but I don't remember her screaming like this before."

"She never has," he confirmed, lifting her to take a look in her mouth as well. "I can't figure out what else it could be, though."

"You mind if I hold her for a sec?"

He was willing to try anything, really. He was careful as he let Michonne take her into her arms, watching every move she made.

She offered the baby a tender smile as she rubbed her tummy, attempting to figure out where her pain was. "Tell me where it hurts, mama." Judith was obviously soothed by the belly-rub, as her crying instantly quieted, but it didn't stop. "Is it something you ate?"

"She just started on solids," Rick suggested quietly. "Is that what this is?"

"It could be." She swayed softly as she continued to stroke Judith's little stomach. It seemed to be working for the time being. "Maybe constipation."

"Jesus," he sighed. "She's been crying for an hour."

"This is the only way she knows how to say it," she reminded him. "We need to get her some water."

He immediately headed for the kitchen, where they kept the sterilized water, as well as Judith's bottles. He filled one about halfway and brought it to Michonne so that she could do what she needed to do. "How do you know so much about babies?" he asked, handing over the bottle.

Her eyes locked on his once she had the bottle in place. She did a quick calculation in her head, the pros versus cons of revealing her secret, and decided that it would be safe in his hands. "I had a son." She exhaled tensely once the words left her lips, and then let her eyes fall back to Judith. She was so precious, so innocent, just like her little boy. She blinked back tears as she waited for Rick to respond.

He was stunned into silence. He began to breathe heavily, unsure of what to say. "Are you…" He nodded to himself as he began to put the pieces together. "He died," he realized, feeling horrified for her.

"He was bitten," she corrected him evenly. "And that boyfriend I told you about?"

"Yeah."

"He was, too."

"Michonne, I'm so-."

"You don't have to feel sorry for me," she smiled up at him. It was the most tragic smile he'd ever seen. "I've made my peace with it."

He nodded. Here he was feeling tormented over Shane, when she was this tower of strength in the face of a true tragedy. He likely would've lost his mind if anything every happened to Carl or Judith. Even Lori.

"When I came here, I told myself that I wouldn't tell anyone this. Didn't want anyone feeling sorry for me."

"But you told me."

"But I told you," she repeated, wishing she knew what that meant. She trusted him beyond all logic, beyond all her efforts to keep people at an arm's length. She told him. "I guess I like you."

* * *

_Present day…_

Carl stood anxiously at the front door of the home across the street from his, hoping that he couldn't be seen while he waited for an answer. Eventually, the door swung open with Daryl on the other side. Seeing that he wasn't accompanied by his father, he looked the kid up and down, waiting for him to say something. He didn't.

"You get locked out or somethin'?" Daryl asked, noting that he was likely just returning from school.

"No," Carl answered confidently. "Is Michonne home?"

"Oughta be." He opened the door wide, allowing the teenager inside their abode. As he stepped further into the hallway, he called for his roommate. "'Chonne, you here?"

"Yeah!" she yelled back. Within a few seconds, she appeared at the landing of the steps, wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt, along with a surprised smile. "Hey, Carl."

"Hey," he looked up to her.

"Your dad lookin' for me?"

"No, he's still gone," he shook his head. "I just came for a visit."

She frowned. They'd been in Alexandria for months and he had never done such a thing. "You get locked out or something?"

"That's what I asked," Daryl smirked, looking up at her as well. "I got watch in a few minutes. Y'all good?"

Carl nodded and set his backpack down on the floor near their front door. "I'm fine."

"If you see Rick coming in, let him know he's here?"

"'Course," Daryl nodded as well before taking off to retrieve his gear.

Michonne smiled down at her visitor for the afternoon. As much as she didn't understand why he was there, she was happy to have him. "Come on up, kiddo. You can help me clean."

"You know, I can stay down here, actually. I don't wanna get in your way."

"Get your ass up here," she directed him with a joking grin. "I'm putting up a shower curtain and could actually use your help."

"Is that it?" he wondered cautiously as he headed up the steps. "I'm not gonna have to scrub any toilets?"

"I make no promises." Still smiling, she directed him to the bathroom that she shared with Sasha, where she had a bucket of cleaning supplies sitting in the sink. She directed him to stand on the commode and help remove the current curtain that was hanging. "So how was school today?" she asked as they got started on their task.

"I got an A on my language arts test," he shrugged casually. "And Jenn let me use some of the day to just read, so that was cool."

"Nicely done," she grinned, impressed. "What'd you read?"

"The Kama Sutra."

Michonne dropped her end of curtain and almost fell from her post on the edge of the bathtub. "What?"

Carl laughed out loud at her reaction. "I'm kidding."

"I hate you," she chuckled with a roll of her eyes. "What do you even know about that book?"

"I know my friend's mom had it on a bookshelf in her bedroom, and we got in major trouble one time for having it out."

"Jesus, are you serious?"

Carl nodded, handing her his finished end. "It's funny now, but she told my mom and everything. It was awkward as hell."

"You're much too smart for your own good, you know."

"People say that to me all the time, and I'm not sure why."

"You know exactly why." She hopped off the ledge to grab the new curtain, handing him one end while she watched. "So what were you really reading?"

"Oliver Twist," he answered shyly.

"Why are you blushing about that, but not when you tell me you read the Kama Sutra?"

"It's so stupid," he chuckled, shaking his head. "I dunno."

"Carl…"

"No, it's nothing that interesting. I was just thinking about how dorky it is that I read it because my dad told me he played the Artful Dodger once in a school play."

She tried to contain her smile, because she knew he would hate it, but that was positively the cutest thing she'd ever heard. "That's adorable!"

"Don't."

"I know, I know," she shook away her smile and sobered up for his sake. "But it is."

"I didn't finish it, but I want to."

She was so amused, but she let him continue his job while she quietly observed. He moved quickly and deliberately, making sure every rung was snapped closed before he moved to the next one. He was a lot like his father, she thought, so attentive and careful.

"How come you're not with my dad," he asked, shaking her from her thoughts.

Her first instinct was to frown at the question, feeling as if he'd accused her of something. It took her a moment to realize that he was referring to work and not play. "He didn't need me to come," she explained simply. "It was a routine run into the city. And I'm gonna work tomorrow so he can have the day off."

"Oh, great," he sighed.

That reaction didn't jive with Carl's typical reaction to his father. The kid adored the guy. Something odd was definitely going on. "Get down," she told him.

"I only have two more," he answered, looking down at her, confused.

"I'll finish it later. Come." She led the teenager back down the stairs to the kitchen, where she could sit and interrogate him properly. She was going to get to the bottom of this little visit.

"Do you have any food?" Carl wondered as he took a seat at the kitchen table.

She grabbed a box of stale Teddy Grahams and sat it in front of him. "That should get you to dinner," she decided for him. "Why don't you want your dad to have a day off?"

"What?" His eyebrows knitted in confusion over his beautiful blue eyes. "I do."

"Well you answered all extra sarcastic when I told you he'd be off tomorrow."

He looked down at the box in front of him and began to open the contents. He was hungry, but he was more concerned with avoiding the question. He absolutely wanted his dad to have a day off. But he knew it meant his dad would be at home. With his mother.

Michonne saw that he obviously wasn't comfortable answering that question, so she asked another. "How come you didn't go home today?"

Silence.

"Carl, I need you to answer me, or I'm gonna start thinking you're being abused." She knew Rick and Lori would never, but he wasn't giving her much to go on.

"Oh my god, why would you jump to that conclusion?" He looked mortified. "No, it's nothing like that. I just… I dunno."

"You do know."

"It's hard to be in that house when my dad's not home," he admitted quietly. "It's like living with a dead person."

She knew he was referring to Lori, and her heart broke for him.

"But then it's hard when they're both home, because it's like living with two dead people." He shook his head, thinking of how miserable his parents were together. Or not together. Their house felt like a funeral home sometimes. "Maybe I'm included in that," he added somberly.

"Oh god." She closed her eyes, trying to think of a reason it could be okay for a child to feel this way. He'd seen a lot of awful things, but she wondered if watching his parents deteriorate before his very eyes could have been the worst. "I'm so sorry, kiddo."

He shook his head dismissively. "I think he stays because he thinks she can't take care of herself."

"And you think she can?"

"I don't know," he answered honestly. "I thought so, but maybe he really is what's holding her together."

"Or maybe you are."

"Maybe," he shrugged. He downed a couple of the graham cracker cookies as he looked out of the back window of Michonne's home. She had a cool view of a creek, surrounded by a bunch of trees. They were all dead at the moment, but it was a nice sight. "They had a fight this morning, for the first time in a while. It was kinda nice to hear."

"The fight was nice to hear," she asked disbelievingly. She wasn't even sure if he knew what he was saying anymore.

"Nice to hear something other than silence."

This kid was going to be the death of her. She wanted to give him a big bear hug, never letting him go. She hated that his parents were putting him through this. And by extension, she was putting him through this.

"I don't want my mom to be alone," he locked eyes with Michonne. He needed her to understand that what he was saying wasn't out of malice. "I don't think she deserves my dad, but I don't want her to be alone. I just want us to be happy."

"And you deserve that," she nodded tenderly. "You, most of all, deserve that."

"My dad does, too."

She couldn't respond to that. She was obviously fond of Rick, but as much as Lori ruined her marriage, she and Rick were probably doing a lot of their own damage in this little affair of theirs. His need to be the good guy was turning him into a bad guy. And worst of all, his son had no idea.

* * *

Several hours later, Michonne and Carl were still sitting at the kitchen table. Sasha made dinner, as she often did, consisting of vegetable lasagna and carrot soup. Carl thought sure he would hate it, but it turned out to be delicious. He immediately decided that he liked it at Michonne's house.

After dinner, Michonne pulled out the portable DVD player as a treat for him. Every house had one, but it had to be used sparingly, so as not to waste a lot of energy charging them. "So I know your reading game is on point," she announced, smiling at him, "but movies are the fabric of our lives, too, and you've missed out on a lot in your formative years, my friend."

"Not my fault though," he held up a finger in protest.

"No, of course not. The world ruined that for you, but I'm gonna make it right." She slid a copy of her favorite movie across the table, letting it land in front of him. "Your first assignment is Pulp Fiction."

Carl was beaming at the idea. He had watched a couple of movies with Judith since they'd arrived at Alexandria, but it was all kid stuff. That's all the neighbors ever brought them. He appreciated that Michonne knew he was over that. "Can I watch it now?" he asked excitedly.

"You sure can." She hopped up from her seat, preparing to start on the dishes. "There are some headphones in that drawer," she nodded towards the counter opposite her. "You can make yourself comfortable in the living room."

He found a pair of ear buds that probably once belonged to an iPod and glanced at his friend. "You mind if I stay in here?"

"Not at all," she grinned. She went on to clear the table while he watched his movie. She hoped this distracted him a bit, if not made him feel a little better.

It was dark, so she knew Rick would be home soon, and she couldn't wait to talk to him. She felt compelled to ask if she could keep Carl there with her, but again, she knew better of Rick and Lori. She just wanted the kid to be happy.

Just as she was beginning to plate the leftovers for Daryl and Carol, the doorbell rang. "That should be your dad," she uselessly said out loud, knowing Carl wouldn't even hear her. Indeed, she reached he front door to find Rick standing there in uniform, looking tired. Whether it was from the day he'd had, or something else, she couldn't tell. "Hey there."

He smiled at her warmly. Seeing her face always evoked that reaction from him. "Hey."

"Long day?"

He nodded. "Daryl said Carl came by after school. I figured I'd check to see if he's still here before I dare walk in the house without him."

"He is," she confirmed, stepping aside so that he could come in. "Said he didn't wanna be alone at home with his mom."

Rick turned back to her words, wondering if he'd heard them correctly. "He said that?"

She pulled him back towards the steps so that they couldn't be heard if they spoke low enough. "Rick, he's miserable. And he thinks you two are, too."

He exhaled heavily and then rested an exasperated hand over his face. He hated to think he'd done anything to hurt his son, but he quickly realized how silly it was to think his relationship with Lori wouldn't affect his kids.

"Carl adores you," Michonne whispered, wanting to make him feel better. "But kids are perceptive. Him, especially. You can't keep this up anymore."

He nodded again, knowing how right she was. And how wrong he was. He'd known for a long time, but thought maybe keeping up the charade was the best option for everyone. In the end, though, as much as he wanted to, he just couldn't hide the fact that he hated his wife. "Carl asked me a while ago if we could just move out. I didn't know what to say."

"You're scared to leave her alone," she understood. She got it. "You always have been. Even when you took off your wedding ring, you never really left."

"I don't know why."

"It's hard to just walk away from someone you've loved. Even if they're not who you want them to be."

"Even though she walked away from me repeatedly."

"Even then," she shook her head. "And I probably wouldn't love you if you were the type of person that could've left easily."

His eyes darted up at her admission, immediately feeling tormented by the words. She loved him? She loved him. She loved him and he was wasting his life away, spending it with someone he could no longer bear to look at. Making his children miserable, raising them in this quiet, tense home. Lori was their mother, so it always seemed only right to stay. But was it?


	6. Naked And Not Afraid

_Somebody stepped inside your soul_  
_Somebody stepped inside your soul_  
_Little by little they robbed and stole  
_ _Till someone else was in control_

_4 months earlier…_

"Carl, stay back."

"I am," Carl frowned back at his father, annoyed by his overprotective tendency.

"He's fine," Michonne confirmed for both of them as her eyes scanned the scattered leaves for footprints.

Their walk was silent and somber. Their home had just been destroyed by a mad man, and everyone they knew was either dead or disappeared. Michonne had seen the direction Lori and Judith went, and believed she could track them, but it was quickly becoming the longest walk of their lives.

Rick slowly made his way to Carl's side, directly behind Michonne. He felt battered, more by the loss they'd suffered than his fight with The Governor, but he was doing his best to keep up. If Lori and Judith were out there, he had to find them. "Hey," he called out to Michonne. "I didn't thank you."

"For what?" she frowned, not turning back.

"You saved my life." She'd put her sword through The Governor's chest at the exact moment he'd run out of options. He wouldn't have been standing there if it weren't for her.

"You saved my life," she retorted evenly. She looked back to give him a smile, but when she saw the disheveled look on his face, she decided to stop. "Look, we don't get to decide how we get hurt. People come after you, and they go for the jugular, or they go for the heart. This guy did both. And we took our licks, we're gonna have bruises for a long time. But we made it out. Lori made it out. You're the reason for that."

He hadn't thought of it that way. It was hard to see any bright side after feeling like he'd failed so epically. He pondered this for a moment as they walked. Perhaps she was right, and that this could have been a lot worse if he hadn't stepped in.

"She's right," Carl assured his dad with a nod. "There was no way you could save everybody, but we're here. We've gotta be thankful for that."

With a tiny smile, Rick rested his hand on his son's shoulder. He couldn't be sure, but he felt like maybe things would be all right. Like maybe this wasn't an end, but a start. "I still appreciate you, though," he told Michonne, watching her work. "If you can get me to Lori and Judith, I'll owe you everything."

"Rick, you gave me a home. That was everything."

"And now it's gone," he replied regretfully.

"And we'll find a new one."

"You really think there's a place out there for us?"

"I do," she nodded, looking back at him. "This can't be all there is."

"There were those signs for that Terminus place," Carl reminded the two adults, a hint of hopefulness in his voice. "Maybe we could go there after we find Judith and Mom."

Rick had seen the signs, but felt pretty strongly that that would not be the place for them. Anyone doing open advertisements for food and shelter was likely either gone by now, or not all they were cracked up to be. "Maybe," he nodded, noticing that Michonne had been studying the ground a little longer than normal. "Everything okay down there?"

"Yeah…" She stood up again, peering into the darkness, then looked at the Grimes boys. "Looks like there was some kind of scuffle here. They probably ran into a walker."

He tried not to think of Lori trying to handle a walker while holding Judith. "You think she got out with Daryl, though, right?"

She nodded. "If not him, then someone from the prison."

"All right. Well if we're going with Daryl, she's probably fine."

"He knows these woods better than anyone," she agreed, offering him a comforting smile. "They're in good hands."

"If I recall correctly, there's a church this way. Not too far ahead now."

"I was thinking he might've taken them to Woodbury, but you might be right."

"Dad, I thought you said Woodbury was gone," Carl inserted into the conversation curiously.

"It is," he confirmed, glancing at his son, and then back up at Michonne. "Someone burned it down."

"Oh," she returned solemnly. "I haven't been able to go back there since Andrea…"

Rick nodded in understanding and softly placed a hand on her shoulder. He greatly appreciated that she had been willing to go back for his sake. "Let's try the church then."

_You think it's easier to put your finger on the trouble_  
_When the trouble is you_  
_And you think it's easier to know your own tricks  
_ _Well, it's the hardest thing you'll ever do_

Rick's assertion had proven correct. They arrived at a small, brick establishment, surrounded by weeds and walker remains, with a sad-looking Daryl Dixon standing in the threshold of its entrance. Rick was the first to speak.

"It's good to see you in once piece," he proclaimed to his friend with a small smile of relief.

"Shit," Daryl looked up, stunned to find the three of them looking back at him. "Y'all are here."

Carl ran up to the man he had begun to look at as an uncle and gave him a hug. And while he knew Daryl didn't do hugs, he didn't care – he was happy to see him. "Is my mom here?"

"Your sister too," he confirmed, directing the teenager inside to the small sanctuary.

Inside, Lori was, indeed, asleep on a pew, with Judith beside her, lying on her stomach. Rick followed behind Carl, a small sigh escaping his lips as he found the remainder of his family to be safe and sound.

"We just got here not too long ago, but she was exhausted," Daryl explained.

Rick turned to him appreciatively. "I can't thank you enough."

"You woulda done the same for me," he answered dismissively. "It's nothin', man."

"It's not nothin'," Rick insisted sincerely. He turned to offer Michonne another look of gratitude, but her eyes were on Carl. He was on his knees at his sister's side, gently stroking her hair with one hand, holding his mother's hand with the other. Tears rolled down his eyes as he watched his family reunite.

"Still think you deserve better?" Michonne smirked. She was genuinely happy for him and the fact that he'd found his family, but she wasn't going to let him hide from the fact that he had taken them for granted.

He shook his head, knowing that she was right, but that she was also teasing him. "Shut up," he grinned.

Lori slowly stirred from her slumber, immediately confused by her surroundings. She was shaken to find Rick and Michonne standing a few feet away, staring at her. Was she dreaming? "Rick?"

He quickly went to her, kneeling just beside Carl so she could see that they were both there. That they were all back together. "I'm here," he assured her. "Everything's all right."

Soon, the pieces began to fall back into place. Her grogginess gave way to memories of the day's events. "Except that we have nowhere to live," she reminded the room.

"Fair enough," Rick allowed. "Almost everything is all right."

"You got anyone with you besides her?" she asked, referring to Michonne.

He glanced back at his friend and then his wife again, unsure of how to answer that. She was on the verge of being rude, and he didn't want to encourage her. "It's just us," he admitted quietly. "But she's the reason I was able to even find you."

"Oh, well isn't that helpful."

Rick didn't understand how she could possibly be angry in this moment. "Lori..."

"I'm sorry," she directed to Michonne. "I really am thankful."

"No problem," Michonne smiled back tensely. As glad as she was that Rick was back with his family, she would've rather been just about anywhere else in that moment.

"Are you okay?" Rick asked, quickly examining Lori's face. Besides a little dirt, she appeared to be fine.

"Besides losing everyone I love, I'm fine," she answered with obvious sarcasm in her tone. "I was lucky enough to get out with Daryl."

Rick stood to his feet, finally understanding that she was in no mood for a reunion. She wanted to fight. "I see."

"It's a shame he wasn't the one to go down and talk to The Governor. Maybe we'd still have a home… Maybe Hershel would still be alive."

Carl looked up from Judith, seeing the mounting tension on his parents' faces. "Mom..."

"It's okay, Carl," Rick told him calmly.

"You keep saying that," Lori went on, pulling herself up to stand as well. "Nothing is okay." She walked towards the door, mumbling, "You let that man come to our doorstep, more than once, and take everything we had."

"Lori, this ain't right," Daryl tried to suggest, but she wasn't hearing it.

"You know it's true," she whispered to him. She continued to stand in the doorway, lamenting over everything they'd lost. She shook her head as she thought of everything they'd been through because of her husband. "It was so easy for you to kill your best friend, but a real maniac comes along and you wanna hide behind the fences..."

"You got somethin' to say, why don't you say it to me," Rick chided her.

She turned quickly to oblige his request. "You were their leader!" she yelled. "Maggie, Glenn, Carol, Sasha... They're all God knows where now, if they're even alive." She quickly wiped her falling tears away. She wanted to be angry. "And my god, those poor girls had to watch their father die."

"You think I wanted this?"

"I don't know what you wanted, but you sure as hell didn't stop it." Her warm hazel eyes had turned so cold as she looked at him. But that was because she hated looking at him in that moment. "They counted on you, Rick.  _I_  counted on you!"

As Judith awoke to the commotion, crying in response, Carl immediately took her into his arms, attempting to shush her back to sleep. But the tension in the room was palpable, and she obviously felt it just as keenly as the rest of them. "Mom, please stop," he begged quietly.

Ignoring him, she went on to berate Rick while Daryl led the kids and Michonne to an office towards the back. "You couldn't even protect Judith," she proclaimed in disgust. "Jesus."

Once they were gone, Rick approached the woman that was his wife in name only. "I'm sorry I disappointed you, Lori."

"Disappointment doesn't even begin to cover it," she scoffed. "I don't know what happened to the man I married, but I'm done trying to make you feel like he still exists."

"That's fine."

"You're a coward, Rick. You fucked this up."

He nodded, doing his best to understand that she was lashing out at him because there was no one else. The Governor was gone, so he was next in line to take the responsibility for what happened.

"At this point, Carl and I probably would've been better off if you'd died in that coma. We would've been fine with Shane."

That was the straw that broke the camel's back. Rick left without another word.

"Yeah, just keep runnin' away!" she called after him. "That's the answer!"

_I have a will for survival_  
_So you can hurt me and hurt me some more_  
_I can live with denial  
_ _But you're not my troubles anymore_

* * *

"Hey."

Rick turned to the voice that had approached. He already knew from the footsteps that it was Michonne, and he was glad for it. "Hey."

When he hadn't come back to the church after an hour, she made it her mission to find him. She was relieved to catch him sitting on the trunk of an abandoned car, staring into space. "You okay?"

"I honestly don't know," he replied, repositioning himself to give her a space to sit. "I think I already knew that's how she felt."

"That doesn't make it any easier to hear."

"No, it doesn't."

"So maybe I was wrong when I said you shouldn't take her for granted," she offered, hoping it would make him laugh a little.

He only smiled, a bit ruefully, but that was good enough for her. "No, you were right on some level."

"And so were you."

"And so was I," he agreed, looking over to her. "I'm not sure what I would've done without you here."

"You didn't need me, Rick."

"No, I really did." He took a deep breath as he tried to fight back his tears. He knew Lori didn't deserve them, so he refused to shed any. "What you said earlier, it meant a lot then, and means even more now."

"I didn't say anything that wasn't true."

"Yeah, well… neither did Lori," he chuckled.

"Rick…"

"The truth hurts sometimes."

"You're anything but a coward," she shook her head, still in disbelief that his wife could say that to him. He was an actual, real life hero, and that woman couldn't appreciate it in the least. "You have to know that by now."

"You heard that part, huh."

"I wish I hadn't."

"I wish…" His words trailed off into silence as he gazed up at the sky. Back before the turn, on nights that he was working late, or one of them was out of town, he'd look at the sky and remind himself that Lori was off in her little world, looking at the exact same sky. And it would bring him comfort. Now, he couldn't imagine the thought of his wife bringing him any kind of solace. Only pain.

_You think it's easier to give up on the trouble_  
_If the trouble is destroying you_  
_You think it's easier  
_ _But before you threw me a rope, it was the one thing I could hold on to_

"You wish what, Rick?"

His eyes fell back to Michonne's curious face and he smiled at her. She was his champion, and he wasn't sure that she was even trying to be. But from the moment they'd met, she'd been a solid source of support, simply by trusting him. By standing beside him. And the feeling was mutual. "I wish I'd met you first," he answered with all the sincerity he could muster.

Her breath caught in her throat as his words registered, and she found herself wanting to cry. Mostly, because she wished that, too.

Understanding that her silence was the only appropriate response, he rested his uncurled his fingers near her hand, desperately hoping that she would find them. And she did, clearly hesitant at first, their pinkies barely touching, then overlapping slightly, then a bit more, as if there was a slow, magnetic pull between them.

Time passed, but neither of them spoke, as Michonne's hand completely covered Rick's. The weight and the warmth of it all made it feel so innocent – friends held hands, didn't they? But the gesture felt exactly the opposite. The contact was not supplementary to a conversation; it was the conversation. It spoke volumes to the attraction between them and the dangerous chemistry they'd conjured up in the short time that they'd known one another.

_Somebody stepped inside your soul_  
_Somebody stepped inside your soul_  
_Little by little they robbed and stole  
_ _Till someone else was in control_

He looked at her the way Mike used to. She had to close her eyes and take a moment to fully grasp what was happening. He was going to kiss her, she would kiss him back, and they would have sex right there in the middle of the woods. That was a lot to process on top of everything else that had happened that day. "Hey," she called to him, waiting for that beautiful blue stare to focus in on her.

He replied with a kiss. It was slow and soft, managing to relay all the sadness and earnestness she saw every time she looked at him. It was him wanting this woman so much that it bordered on actual need, and him being scared of such a strong emotion, but going with it anyway.

His lips felt so good to her, and she knew it wasn't just because she hadn't been kissed in ages. It was because it was him. And because it was him, she had to stop. She had to think. "Hey," she said again, pulling away from him to catch her breath.

He slid from their seat and stood in front of her, between her legs. They were even closer than before now. "What's wrong?"

"This is wrong," she reminded him. "As shitty as your wife is, she's still your wife, and she's still less than a mile away from us."

"Why would you even remind me that she exists right now?"

"I don't know," she replied with a light chuckle. "I just don't want you to regret anything."

"I don't regret any moment I spend with you, Michonne."

Her eyes immediately began to water and she remembered why she was so drawn to him in the first place. Sometimes she looked at him and felt like she was seeing the other half of her soul. She largely ignored it, because how could another woman's husband be her soulmate? But as she sat there, feeling more complete than she ever had, she found herself wondering, how could he not be?

"Let's forget about today and enjoy tonight, Michonne."

She nodded emphatically, wanting nothing more than to do exactly that.

_God knows it's not easy_  
_Taking on the shape of someone else's pain_  
_God now you can see me_  
_I'm naked and I'm not afraid  
_ _My body's sacred and I'm not ashamed_

* * *

Lyrics: "The Troubles" - U2 (Songs of Innocence)


	7. Why Don't You Love Me?

_4 months earlier…_

Rick and Michonne returned from their tryst in the woods, both feeling a strange and contradictory mixture of guilt and joy. Rick had just cheated on the woman he called his wife, which was something he'd never even considered before. But he also never thought she would abandon him in the times he needed her most, and yet, she had done that continually in the past year.

Michonne walked back to the church, expecting to feel pangs of regret when she saw Lori again. But as much as she knew it was wrong, she probably would've done the same thing again, if given the chance. She'd spent an entire year being unhappy. If it wasn't mourning her son and boyfriend, it was fighting for her life, or wishing she could have saved Andrea. But Rick had somehow changed all that, by making her feel, not just needed, but wanted. He was right when he told her she deserved better, and there he was.

The church was nearly pitch black when they walked in. Michonne had lit a few candles before leaving, but now, just one in the corner remained. She knew Daryl had probably left that one up for when they returned. Rick found Carl curled up on the floor, next to the seat where Judith slept. He'd draped his shirt over his sister, obviously leaving him cold. Rick quickly and quietly found a tablecloth to cover his son, and began to sit down next to him.

"Where's Lori?" Michonne whispered in confusion. Daryl was snoring just a few feet away, but their mother was nowhere in sight.

Rick didn't want to care, but despite everything, she was the mother of his children, so he had to. "You get yourself some rest," he told Michonne quietly. "I'll look for her."

He slowly walked toward the back of the church, where a couple of offices were held, doing his best not to wake anyone with his footsteps. One door was open, so he peered inside, finding nothing but an empty desk. He carefully went to the next room, opening it to find Lori sitting on the couch inside. It was clear she had been crying, but he didn't care to know the reasons. Seeing that she was there and alive was sufficient for him. He turned to close the door.

"Rick, please wait," she called out to him in a normal tone.

He looked back to make sure she hadn't awoken anyone, and came in to shut them inside. "You're loud," he warned her in a hushed voice. "Everyone's asleep out there."

"Sorry," she whispered back.

He didn't understand why she was suddenly so subdued. After her attack on him a few hours earlier, he thought she would have still been firing on all cylinders. "I just came to see if you were here. I didn't mean to wake you."

She nodded, though he could barely recognize it in the darkness of the room. "I wasn't sure where you went. I wasn't asleep," she confessed.

"Hoping I'd gone off to die?" he asked bitingly. Everything she said to him had come crashing back down on his psyche once he was in the same room with her again. When he was with Michonne, it seemed to silence Lori's words for a while, but being around her just amplified them.

She sighed heavily, knowing that she would have to answer for what she'd said. Even for a heat of the moment moment, she said some truly heinous things, and she knew that. She had been drunk with anger, but it was a sobering experience to have him leave and not immediately come back. "Rick, I'm sorry."

"Lori…"

"I know," she returned. She understood, probably better than he did, that she wouldn't be able to fix this with an apology. "I was so consumed with anger at that man," she whispered. "You didn't deserve that."

"Yeah, but you've been angry at me, too, for a long time now. Like I'm the one that started this whole thing."

"No. It's not that."

"It's a lot of things," he nodded. "I know. But I'm not your punching bag."

"Look, I know I've been a shitty wife, and I'm not winning any mother of the year awards, but I need you to know…" She trailed off when it looked as though he had tuned her out. "Rick, I need you to know that I didn't mean  _any_  of those things I said."

"You did," he nodded again. "And that's fine if that's how you feel."

"It's not," she maintained. "I needed someone to blame, and you were the easiest target."

"You should be more careful with your words then," he advised coolly. "A string of some that don't mean much to you can stick with someone for a lifetime. I don't know how you haven't learned that yet." He watched her stand from the couch and walk towards him, but he immediately backed away. "Don't come over here, Lori."

She continued anyway, reaching out to him, despite his protestations. "I really am sorry." She stopped when she saw that he was so determined to get away from her, he backed into the door. She closed her eyes and dropped her head disappointedly. But she got it. "I trust you with my life," she promised, looking up at him again. "I do. You're so much stronger than any one person should have to be."

"You say that now…" He smiled sarcastically at the fact that she was trying to change her tune all of a sudden. Perhaps after realizing that a life on the road would be nearly impossible without him. "Maybe because you think that's what I wanna hear. But I stopped looking for support from you a long time ago." He rested his hand on the doorknob, glancing at the wedding ring garnishing his left hand. It used to represent so much to him; used to conjure up real feelings for the woman behind him. Now, it was just decoration. It was a reminder that he was married to someone who made him feel like he was hard to love. He looked back at her one more time before opening the door. "We'll be leaving for Terminus in the morning."

He didn't stay to hear her response, but headed back into the sanctuary to get some rest. Michonne was lying next to Judith on the wooden seating, so he took the floor beneath her, with Carl. With a big sigh, he nestled in close to his son and let his eyes fall closed. What a fucking day.

* * *

The walk to Terminus was long. Nearly twenty miles from the prison, along a set of railroad tracks; and with barely any food or water to work with, it felt endless really. But Rick was so relieved to have his kids, Michonne, and Daryl, he was okay with the trek. Especially if it meant safety was waiting on the other side.

But those hopes quickly began to fade as he looked into the sky and saw a cloud of black smoke billowing into the air where Terminus was supposedly located. He slowed his gait significantly so that Michonne could catch up to him. "You see that?" he asked her, continuing his walk by her side.

"You think that's Terminus?" she gathered, having seen the smoke herself. She couldn't even bring herself to be disappointed, even if it was. Just curious, more than anything. After the night before, she just didn't have a reason to be sad in that moment.

"Most likely."

"The smoke is black, which means it's still burning. So whatever happened, happened recently."

"Or is happening right now," he concurred with a sigh.

"So it could be people from the prison."

That had been his first assumption, but whether they were in trouble or the ones causing it was anyone's guess. "Could be."

"What do you wanna do?"

"We get as close as we can," he shrugged. "See what we can see."

"Okay," she nodded seriously, letting him know that she trusted him. She looked back to see how close the others were, and then back to him. "You okay?"

"Yeah," he sent back a small smile, assuring her that he was at peace with everything that had happened. Everything. He hoped she was, too.

"I'm okay," she confirmed, using just those two words to let him know that she didn't regret their night together in any way, shape, or form. "But we won't be if we keep this up."

He looked back to also examine the group, seeing that Daryl and Carl were out of earshot. Lori was even further. "I know," he whispered with a sad nod. "I know."

"But I'm glad we had last night."

"Me too," he smiled back at her. He softly placed a hand on each of her shoulders as he passed behind her, on his way to talk to Daryl, causing a shiver throughout her body.

They continued their march towards Terminus, Rick explaining the situation to Daryl and Carl, and what was likely their best course of action. But all of that had proven fruitless once they got close to the place and crossed paths with a whole slew of their people – Carol, Glenn, Maggie, Beth, Sasha, Tyreese. Just a few right moves and the gang was back together again.

As everyone reunited, thankful that they only had to spend a couple of days apart, Rick stood alongside Carl, holding Judith, taking in the entire scene. It felt good to see his people smile. Even with the irretrievable loss of Hershel, they were all finding a way to be happy, encouraging him to be the same. But then, he glanced to the train tracks to see Lori sitting by herself, pretending to be the outcast, for whatever reason. She really had no idea when things were good, it seemed.

He and Judith walked over to her, hesitant as he was to speak to her again after everything that had happened the night before. But they'd just won big, and it was time to move on. "You all right?" he questioned, standing over her.

She quickly used the tail of her shirt to wipe her face, then looked up at her husband and daughter, brushing her long bangs from her eyes. "Yep."

"Can we talk for a minute?"

She pulled herself from her seat on the ground to acquiesce his unexpected request. Together but silently, the two of them walked a few more feet in the opposite direction of everyone else, Lori's mind racing with questions about what he could possibly have to say.

"For the record," he finally began, once he felt they were far enough from the group, "I don't think you're a bad mother." He looked down at Judith, who looked up at him with the most beautiful, curious face, and began to rub her back gently. "She's proof of that."

She smiled sadly at the faint praise, her eyes drifting to the trees as she replied, "Wife is a different story, I guess."

He looked at her peculiarly, wondering if she really wanted him to respond to that.

"For better or worse, right," she went on with a simultaneously wistful and sarcastic chuckle. "I mean, what are we gonna do? Hire lawyers, and get divorced, and split our assets?"

He couldn't help but laugh at that, because it was so heartbreakingly true. How was he supposed to leave her? Literally, how? But he could barely look at her. How could he not?

"I thought maybe you were coming over to talk about us." Her eyes watered as her words materialized. As she realized she probably put the final stake in her marriage when she lashed out at him the night before. "Maybe there's nothing to talk about anymore."

He nodded, still keeping his eyes on his daughter. It was the truth – he had nothing to say anymore. It was the most painful thing in the world, coming to terms with the fact that he just couldn't love this woman. "I'm gonna keep you safe, Lori," he promised hoarsely. "As the mother of my kids, I owe you that much."

"You don't."

"You're right. I owe  _them_  that much," he corrected himself. "But that's all I can do for you."

She understood that. After everything she had put him through, she understood that better than anyone. She had taken him for granted. She pushed him to his breaking point, and then was disappointed when he actually broke. She did this, and she knew that. It was a surprise he was still even standing there. "Maybe… maybe somewhere down the road, we can figure out how to fix this," she suggested, tears rolling rapidly down her face. "I can fix this."

He held Judith firmly in his left arm, while using his right hand to slowly pull off his wedding ring. He handed it over to Lori so she would understand that that wasn't an option. This was about keeping her alive and nothing more. "I'm grateful to you. For saving Judith," he returned, dropping the band into her hand.

She nodded as the tears came harder now. He was so cold, so impersonal. She could still feel his fingers on hers, even though he had already walked away. His ring was still warm, having been on his hand for over 14 years now. All that time, all the love he'd given her, amounted to her standing there alone.


	8. Live Free Or Die

_Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels_  
_The dizzy dancing way that you feel_  
_As every fairy tale comes real  
_ _I've looked at love that way_

It was a while before Rick went home that night. After finding Carl at Michonne's house, he let him stay there for the evening. He seemed to be enjoying Pulp Fiction, and there was no reason to make him go back to the grave he considered his home. Michonne was glad to keep him, and Rick was thankful for that.

He had gone to visit Douglas Monroe instead. He wanted to speak to him about housing, scheduling; all the other mundane things that encapsulated his life now. Another thing to be glad for. His life was pretty boring. They had their problems here and there, with walkers, with neighbors fighting, but for the most part, things were fine. His kids were fine, his friends were fine… Lori was fine.

 _But now it's just another show_  
_You leave 'em laughing when you go_  
_And if you care, don't let them know  
_ _Don't give yourself away_

It was close to 8:00 PM when he trudged into his home, already dreading the conversation he knew he would be starting. He had been avoiding it for so long, using the shitty world as an excuse not to face his personal reality. But again, things were fine. He couldn't use the world as a reason to keep denying himself and Michonne. To keep raising his children in an unhappy home.

"Lori?" He knocked on the door of her bedroom, softly, in case Judith was asleep.

She came to the door with a look of alarm on her face. Rick never came to see her willingly. He always came to retrieve Judith on a fixed schedule, in the mornings, and never addressed her when he did so; evenings mostly belonged to her. She was genuinely surprised to see his face.

"Hey," he greeted her quietly. His eyes innately focused in on Judith in the background, asleep on Lori's bed.

"Hey."

"Can we talk for a minute?"

She hadn't heard those words in so long. And especially not in that softened tone he used when he wanted a conversation and not a lecture. She didn't know what to think. Carl hadn't come home, but she knew he was across the street at Michonne's, so that couldn't have been it. She was genuinely worried about what this talk would entail, but nodded in agreement. She grabbed the baby monitor and followed him out of her room.

They went downstairs to their kitchen. That was where they would always talk in the old days. Their kitchen back in Georgia was bright, furnished with white cabinets and appliances. It was fitting, because their conversations had been happy there. So it made sense that their home now was so dark. Their mahogany wood flooring was beautiful, but it made everything feel so gloomy. Just appropriate now as it was then.

They sat across from one another, her staring at him in anticipation as he slowly pulled off his jacket. "Whatever it is, just spit it out," she pleaded nervously.

He looked up at her, realizing that his silence was probably alarming, so he went ahead and just spit it out. "I'm moving out, Lori." He waited a few beats for a response, but she only looked at him blankly. With a deep sigh, he continued. "I made a promise with myself," he nodded, remembering that day well. "I promised myself that I would keep you alive. That that was all I had to do. And I did that," he concluded, gazing at her. "We're safe now."

Her hazel eyes darted back and forth between him and the table, as her brain tried to make sense of his words. "You're leaving?"

"There's an open two-bedroom up the block," he confirmed, looking down himself. "I'm gonna take it."

She let out a small chuckle, unsure of how she didn't see it coming. "I don't know why I'm surprised," she mumbled to herself. "You've been gone a long time."

"I know..."

"I guess some part of me always thought that as long as you were here… As long as there was some time…" She shook her head as she recalled the many, many ways she had done this to herself. "I thought there would be time to put it back together." She wiped a stray tear, already longing for the man that used to be her husband, and then threw her hands up in defeat. Her tears and her words were futile. "I couldn't… put it back."

"Maybe, on some level, I thought the same," he admitted quietly. "Maybe that's why I could never bring myself to leave."

"But you love her," she knew, referring to Michonne.

"I love her."

Lori squeezed her eyes shut at his heartbreaking admission. She knew that Michonne was everything Rick had been looking for in her. Strong, self-sufficient, supportive. That was probably what hurt more than anything. She could never be who she was supposed to be to him. "But I love you, Rick."

"You don't." His head tilted to the side and his eyes narrowed, in disbelief that she could think their relationship still had any love left. "Don't you feel like you're suffocating?"

"I don't."

 _I've looked at love from both sides now_  
_From give and take and still somehow  
_ _It's love's illusions I recall_

"I do." He felt tears running down his face, much to his surprise, but he wasn't sure if it was due to being afraid to let go, or how good it felt to finally do it. "This road has been hard, Lori. We've lost everything, and now we're finally gettin' some semblance of it back, having this new life, here in Virginia. I've been able to relax." He paused, taking in his own words as they came tumbling out of his mouth. "I've been able to laugh; I've had purpose. I've enjoyed myself more than I ever thought I would again." He ran his hands over his tired face and looked at her. "And I finally feel free…"

"But—"

"And by being free," he accidentally cut her off, but he needed to clear his mind, "I can see now, that constantly trying to stick around, for you, is the thing that's been killing me slowly. And I don't wanna do it anymore. I don't wanna delay my happiness anymore." His hands rested on the table and he sat there for a moment, gazing at the empty spot on his hand where he used to wear his wedding ring. "When we were on the road? When you needed me," he submitted, his voice getting more hoarse with every word, "I was there for you. And I can go to bed at night knowing I gave you everything I could. I loved you when I should have been loving myself. And that's fine – that was my choice. But I have to be done with that now. And more importantly, you should be, too. You have to love yourself." He paused when she looked up at him with those beautiful sad eyes, but he didn't want to be swayed, so he looked down. "Together, we can love Carl and Judith the way we're supposed to. Rather than…" he trailed off. "I want more than this for us. More than being stuck with someone who feels stuck. I want you to feel free, too."

_I really don't know love at all_

She opened her mouth to speak, but only tears came out. He was right. He was so right. No matter how hard you try, or don't try, some things just can't be fixed. And that's okay. "Okay," she said, wiping her face with the collar of her robe. "Okay."

He softly placed his hand over hers and looked her in the eye. He knew this would hurt the most. "I want Carl and Judith to live with me."

With a frown, she snatched her hand off of the table. "Absolutely not."

"Lori…"

"You're not taking my children!"

"You will always be their mother," he retorted calmly. "But we both know who Carl will wanna live with."

"I don't care, Rick. I'm his mother."

"And I'm his father."

"You're not taking my kids," she repeated in a weak whisper. "You can have your new house and your new life with your new girlfriend, but I'm not letting you have them."

"You really wanna pretend this is what you want?" he chided her. "Handling Carl on your own? Just so you can say you won?"

"That's not what this is about."

"So you can honestly say you're thinking about what Carl would want?"

"You work everyday, Rick. You said it yourself, you have a purpose," she sniffled. "Mine... is those kids. What will I do?"

"You'll move on with your life," he offered genuinely. "Being a wife and mother has been your only identity for so long. And maybe that's why you lost yourself and took up with Shane in the first place. I don't know," he shook his head. "But it doesn't have to be that way."

She scoffed at the very idea of having some other place in this world. "I feel like I'm watching fourteen years just… circle down the drain." Her eyes closed at the thought. That everything they'd been through together meant nothing now. But sometimes you have to let go of what's killing you, even if it's killing you to let go. She took a deep breath, accepting that this was their fate. "Okay."

He nodded, feeling her sadness, too. When they said those vows so many years ago, he never thought in a million years that they would end up there. But then, they never stipulated that they would love each other through the world's end. Things got worse than anyone could have ever predicted. And no one realizes, until they're there, how bad it has to get for you to finally give up. So they were splitting their assets and going their separate ways. There was no other option. This woman didn't love him. And as it turned out, he loved someone else. It was time to go. He stood from the table, feeling a giant weight suddenly lifted from his shoulders. He was free.

 _Tears and fears and feeling proud t_ _o say "I love you" right out loud_  
_Dreams and schemes and circus crowds  
_ _I've looked at life that way_

 _Oh but now old friends they're acting strange_  
_They shake their heads, they say I've changed  
_ _Well something's lost, but something's gained in living every day_

* * *

_2 months later…_

Michonne pulled her shirt off as she continued to ride Rick into oblivion. He gazed up at the beautiful sight, his right hand following his eyes to her breasts, fondling one playfully. His other hand held her ass as it rocked against his thighs. The sound of their bodies connecting was such a turn on to both of them. She moved faster, harder, breathing heavily each time she took him in. Their eyes were locked on each other, and it was the most erotic thing in the world. Blue melting with brown. Her chocolate skin colliding with his vanilla.

"Fuck, Michonne," he exhaled, trying to stay quiet.

His hands on her body were everything. She could only moan in reply to the delicious pleasure. She grabbed their headboard and used it for leverage as she rolled her hips, bringing her man to climax. His hands squeezed her ass harder, and she knew he was on the verge, just as she was. And then, there was a knock at the door.

"Dad?" It was Carl.

The two of them froze, bringing their ecstasy to an infuriating halt. Rick wanted to scream, but he jokingly denied his son instead. "Go away," he answered, smiling up at Michonne.

"It's almost seven and you didn't wake me," he went on from outside the door. "Michonne's not up either. Just making sure you guys are okay."

"We're fine," Michonne called back. "Go away!"

Carl could hear them laughing and he wondered what they were up to. "I will, but… is anyone gonna make breakfast? Preferably not Michonne, though."

"Just for that, I am gonna do it," Michonne answered. She hesitantly dismounted Rick, despite his silent protests and trying to pull her back into bed. Instead, she headed for the bathroom to take a shower. They really did need to get their day started.

Rick pulled his boxers back on, as well as a random t-shirt, and finally went to the door to greet his son. He was met with a head full of wet hair and a curious look on the kid's face. "It's an actual battle to wake you up every other morning, but today, you're at my door?"

"You were late," Carl contended, gazing up at his dad. "My body clock needs consistency, you know."

"Yeah, yeah." Quietly, the two of them padded back down the hall, to Carl and Judith's room. Rick pulled the smiling baby from her crib and brought her into the kids' bathroom to give her a quick bath while Michonne got dressed. "Hey," he turned back to his teenager as he tested the water for his toddler. "After you get out of school, I want you to come straight to my office."

"We finally starting weapons training?" Carl asked hopefully.

"We are," he confirmed with a playful smile. "It's a new year. Time to get this show on the road."

"Awesome."

"I hope you still think it's awesome when you see how many kids your age need training."

"You think it's gonna be hard?"

"Dealing with anyone your age is hard."

"Very funny," Carl grinned. He knew he was joking, and was glad that his dad was willing to trust him. He had been glad for a lot of things lately. His dad being happy. His mom being happier. Getting to live with his favorite person, Michonne. Things were finally good. "I'm gonna get dressed," he declared, heading out of the bathroom.

 _I've looked at life from both sides now_  
_From win and lose and still somehow_  
_It's life's illusions I recall  
_ _I really don't know life at all_

Breakfast was well underway, as Rick and Judith sat at one end of the kitchen table, sharing ham and making faces at each other. Michonne was at the other end with Carl, finishing proofreading an essay he had written on Oliver Twist, and was handing it back to him.

"Not bad, kid," she winked, passing him his notebook.

He glanced over the paper, marked up in red ink with widened blue eyes. There were a lot of edits. "Really, Michonne?"

"It'll take you five minutes to rewrite."

"God, I wish we had a computer," he sighed, slowly trudging over to his backpack to get a pen. "Can you take me to school?"

Before Michonne could answer, knowing she would agree, Rick chimed in. "You can walk. You've got plenty of time."

"But it's cold."

"It's a five minute walk."

"It's eight minutes," he protested with a sigh. He looked at Judith and rolled his eyes. "You're making a big mistake learning how to walk, Judy."

Michonne smiled as she got up to pour herself another cup of coffee. She also took the last egg, and couldn't help but be reminded how glad she was that Rick had taken over in the kitchen. Otherwise, those eggs would've been burnt to a crisp. She stood against the counter, taking in the view of the people she loved most in the world. "I'm going in late, so I can't take you to school anyway," she finally told Carl.

"Why are you going in late?" he frowned curiously.

"If you must know," she began, glancing at Rick to make sure he was okay with her going on. When he just looked down at Judith amusedly, she answered, "I have a doctor's appointment."

"You do? Are you okay?"

"Yes nosy, I'm fine," she smirked knowingly. "Get to work." She took another sip of her coffee, just as the doorbell rang throughout the house. She noticed Rick glance at his watch and set her coffee back on the counter. They both knew exactly who it would be. "I got it." She grabbed Judith's coat on the way to the door, and opened it up to find Lori staring back at her. "Hey," she said casually, pulling back to allow the woman inside.

"Hey." Lori avoided her gaze, but accepted the invitation and headed on in, where she knew Rick and Judith would be in the kitchen. "Morning," she greeted the room.

"Hey," Carl returned, not looking up from his work.

Rick started in on wiping Judith's face and hands and gave Lori a quick nod of acknowledgement. She was wrapped up tightly in her winter coat, a scarf, and a hat. "Cold out there?"

She nodded. "Aaron stopped by to say the high would be around ten degrees today and tomorrow."

"You got enough firewood?" he asked. He took Judith's coat from Michonne, pulling her hat and gloves from the sleeves before helping the little one into it. "We have some extra if you need it."

"I'm fine," she smiled back tightly. As much as she had gotten used to their arrangement, it still made her uneasy to stand there in Rick and Michonne's home. In their kitchen. She did it nearly every day, and still, she hated the way it made her feel.

"Well, I should get on over to the office." Rick gave his daughter a quick kiss before handing her over to her mother. "Goodbye, love."

"I'll see you at six?" Lori confirmed, glancing back and forth between him and Michonne. She wasn't sure which one she would be meeting that evening.

"I'll be here," Michonne assured her. "Six is good."

"Okay."

Rick gave his son a quick kiss to the top of his head, still wet from his shower, and then went to Michonne, who was standing back at the counter again. She looked so beautiful in the morning light, and her face on full display with her hair in a ponytail. He held her waist as he gave her a peck on the lips. "Bye, you."

They were careful not to be overly affectionate in front of Lori, but Michonne was glad he never held back on saying goodbye. For all they knew, it might be their last. She squeezed his hand quickly before letting him go. "I'll see you soon."

"Bye, Lori," Rick finished, just as he headed for the door.

"Bye, Rick." Lori looked down at her son, who hadn't said much, but seemed to be at peace with the situation, and she was glad for that. He seemed happy there, just as Rick said he would be. Even doing homework, which he'd always hated, it was obvious that the kid was all right. She hadn't broken him. She hadn't ruined him. And maybe one day, she would be able to put their relationship back together, if nothing else. "Say goodbye to your sister?" she asked of him cautiously.

He looked up from his paper and took Judith's tiny hand. "Bye, kiddo." He then glanced at his mom, and that same hard stare he usually gave her had softened just a little. "See ya later, Mom."

She nodded as she held back tears, for fear of scaring him away. She needed to play this one cool. "See ya later." She grabbed Judith's bag from the counter where they kept it, and prepared to head back to her own home.

Michonne followed after her, wanting to walk her out, but also to tell her something she'd been working up the nerve to say for several weeks now. Whenever she came by to pick up Judith, she saw the changes the woman had been trying to make. She saw the slight confidence in her demeanor; she saw her smile sometimes; she saw come back to life, slowly, but surely. "Hey, Lori?"

She turned back to the woman that her husband had fallen in love with. The partner in crime that she had so epically failed to be to him. Sometimes, it was hard to look her in the eye, but that morning, Lori faced her with all the poise she could find. "Yeah?"

"I'm sorry that this happened to you," Michonne said, hoping she didn't come off as insincere or smug. She really meant that. She never sought out to take someone's husband. Even if Rick was already long gone, it wasn't lost on Michonne how it must have looked. How it must have felt. "I'm sorry for my part in it."

"I'm even sorrier for mine," she replied with a regretful smile. "I get it. I do."

"I hope this isn't out of line to say," she went on hesitantly, "but… I'm glad you found a way to eat alone."

This time, her smile wasn't full of remorse, but instead, a hint of hope. "Me, too, Michonne."

 _I've looked at life from both sides now_  
_From up and down, and still somehow_  
_It's life's illusions I recall  
_ _I really don't know life at all_

**: End :**

* * *

Lyrics: "Both Sides Now" – Joni Mitchell (Clouds)


End file.
